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Replies to '06/21 "Throw It Out!"'
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February 6, 2006, 4:32 pm PST
 Quote From: wavdancr first, as a baby i think that having a bunch of stuffies in my crib seemed to nurture me ... but also protect me. my parents both had *so* many issues it's amazing i survived to grow up. only as my healing progresses am i now able to stop hoarding. second, they made me feel *responsible* for everything!! so whenever i see stuff that "needs me" ... i take it home. until lately when i can look beyond the moment and realize there are other people out there and they might actually need those things. (in fact, last night i took an old table out and put it near the dumpster ... today i watched my neighbor take my old table home. it was good to see that!) third, i never knew when i might find that "perfect dress" or that "perfect whatever" again ... i still have too little trust in the future. soooo of course i'm going to grab it, *now*! but a houseful of clutter is ... not perfect, either!! hooray there are so many places to donate stuff! fourth, i grew up w/ depression-era parents so "use it up, wear it out, etc" as our motto. if something broke or got stained, it was kept for the useful parts it still had. with the oppressive upbringing i got, i grew up too afraid to stand up to that way of thinking ... til now. i realize that at times i might through out something and later regret it, but now i realize that i can afford to replace it. ... it's amazing what i've found at good garage sales! fifth, simply being too afraid of saying "no" to someone trying to sell me something i didn't need. whether it was a shopping friend ("how can you not get those shoes? they are perfect for you!") or a salesperson ("you'd be a fool to not buy this incredible offer."), or even a grumpy sales person ("that is so not your color!" "fine, i'll take it!!") ... but i'm the shopper. now, if i'm having a bad day, i avoid people and places who push me to do their choices, not mine. on better days, i can ignore them and just buy whatever i truly choose to buy. finally, now that i'm starting to be able to let go of some things, i've learned to just do a little bit at a time. cuz if i do too much too fast, i will panic. just some things that came to mind that might help others. happy de-cluttering! =)
I can identify with the Depression Era parents saving everything. I feel guilty if I don't find a good home for stuff, it's hard to just toss it in the trash especially with so much emphasis today on recycling. To that end, I joined a Freecycle group. I saw it mentioned earlier on this site but it bears repeating. Freecycle.org, it's a worldwide recycling site and you can find a branch near your home. The trick is to NOT take anything, just post things you have to offer. There's no cost to join, and you know your things will go to others in need of them. Another place to donate things.....check your local library. Ours will take books, videos, music, etc, and they have a yearly sale to raise funds. You'll feel good about yourself for helping. I have made a lot of progress in clearing out things, tho it seems I really struggle with PAPER. I get attached to birthday cards, old things from my kids, or programs from their school plays, etc. I have a container of books set aside for when I have grandchildren, so I consider that something worthwhile, not hoarding. And baby clothes....ok, I know they mentioned on the show that Misty kept her kid's things, but it's for a different reason. I have gotten rid of most of them, I have a small suitcase with some "loved" things I hope will suit my grandchildren too. And when the time comes, if they're not right, they're gone, no regrets. And I'm open to change, I might let go of them before that if it seems right. Currently I just need to light a fire under my butt to get moving again. We've had a mild winter so I haven't felt trapped at home, which is a good way to spend hours sorting and purging. I have paralyzed perfectionist tendancies, so procrastinating is a downfall. I want to keep positive about this, tho, and get things done, no pressure, just progress. My daughter recently moved on her own so I gained space and happily also gave her many things that were stored here. An advantage of an empty nest. Having trust in the future.....I'm not working, so I do have those fears of not having "enough" or not being able to replace something. I think this is an area for me to focus on. I ned to have more faith. There's a saying, if God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it. Yet after Katrina, so much material loss, and many people finding that they can do without an awful lot as long as they have their loved ones. It's something to reflect on. Thanks. |
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