Quote From: lisaann88Hey, not sure how old you are and it may be that your young, I'm not sure. Do you have a best friend? Imagine the man in your life being your best friend. Imagine if he looked forward to any time he might get to spend with you and would gladly forgo every weekend at the bar because he'd rather hang around with you and the kids and actually like it. Sounds like your hubby doesn't want to be agrown up and maybe finds you and the kids to be a responsibility that he'd rather escape. Stop being the crazy stalker wife who spends all her time chasing around someone who doesn't want to be with her. Get a life of your own and interests of your own. While hes gone, take the kids to the zoo or join classes - hey whatever your thing is. Be too busy to worry about him. It will make him wonder where and when you became a person without him. And you are, you know, a person with or without him. If your problems lie in doing the same old dance...this may help find you more interesting and improve your situation. On the other hand, you may find that you are far more interesting than you thought you were and you really won't care if hes around or not. Interesting people attract others and looks often don't have anything to do with it. I bet you will be surprised by what you learn about yourself once you get looking for interesting things about your self.
Rather than say " Leave the bum - right here and now" I thought you could use some tools in getting to that point. Remember your children are watching and they're learning, show them how to be a person.....all on your own. Good luck!!!!
I know how upsetting this may seem to you. You have obviously given this thought, and as the years go by, it does not get easier.
I realized after the first year fo my marraige, my husband's immaturity and other changable behaviors were not going to improve. I have tried desperately talking to him, but our 'communication styles' differ so, very different from before we were even married. I thought this was part of the 'first years of marraige are hell' and 'it will get better, just give it time', so I did. I like to understand things and not judge, I don't yell or name call...I fight like a man, to the point. The basis of our marriage was trust, partnership, and respect. I am recently realizing I am in this marraige alone, and I may have always been.
It is scary but I know what I want my future to hold, and my husband contributes nothing positive to it. I am making tough decisions right now to either stay or pack up. I have exhausted all means to work things out, and my husband may not come around to help save this marraige in time. It is the fact I am learning to live with.
It is scary to leave behind a life I have known soo well, and possibly lose mutual friends, but I know I will be a better person b/c of my choices I feel in my heart are right. I too have a daughter that is quite intuitive. She is not aware of the situation, but she can sense something is not right. I wouold rather leave now, than risk her observing more detrimental behaviors. This is NOT the type of role-model relationship I want my daughter to invest in when she is older.
You will find your strength, and when you have made a decision, it will feel RIGHT!!!
