Replies to 'Difficulty Forming Friendships'

Your message is a bit.. well contradicting. On one hand you say you know that special person is out there for you and sooner or later you'll find them. But on the other hand you point out all of your 'weaknesses' and try to let people feel sorry for you and agree that indeed it is very hard for you to find that special person.

Your whole message, except that last sentence is very negative. You portray the people you meet as supervisual "only want money, sex, goodlooking man", you feel your life just sucks "you don't want to be in my shoes" and on top of that you talk badly about the way you look "not good looking / disabled". Do you honestly think with that attitude your special person will just fall madly in love with you just by the sight of you?

No, and you know why? Not because of your looks, but because of your vision on life. You have such a negative look on life that you are driving people away. People will not want to come close to a person that is thinking they are not worth one second of their time. Because that is what your message is portraying. A lot of selfpity.

Look at your GOOD qualities and accept the lesser qualities. No person is perfect. Everyone has their own flaws. And just because you are disabled or not so goodlooking, doesn't make it any harder for you to find a good mate, than a person who isn't disabled and 'better' goodlooking.

LOOKS aren't that important anyway. Yes, it is the first thing you see, when meeting someone. But honestly, do you judge someone by their cover? Do you run away from someone who doesn't look like a Claudia Schiffer, or a Tom Cruise? I would say not.

Make yourself be important and goodlooking and a good party TO YOU.

Because the person you have portrayed to be in your message, will not be able to keep a special person in their life, simply because they themselves don't think they're too special.

Petra

No matter which way I look at human relationships, it all seems kind of tricky to me. Can't force things ya know. Tricky is the best way I can describe relationships, even for people who do love themselves and have everything going for them. Some of my most alone time was spent in a relationship. It seems so simple, be kind, be truthful, be reasonable (not perfect), loyal to some degree, understanding would be nice. I think it has a lot to do with misinterpretations and intentions. No one is imune to misunderstandings. I'd like to tell you there is an easy answer. Maybe there is. In the book the Secret (I enjoyed much of that book), they talk about pretending your desire already exists, visualize it and act like you said, know it is happening. I believe it is the journey, how we treat each other, how we walk day to day. I could not tell you where you find your emphasis anymore than you can tell me where I find my emphasis. Once I wanted to understand the essence of the word Universe. U ni verse. U is a very interesting letter, I thought of flow like the opposite of resistance, one definition for U has to do with "internal energy" -- I think that is totally cool and freaky; "ni" in Lakota has to do with water and the essence of life, and verse is popularly understood as communication or song ,,, put it together and we have "flowing internal energy life song. " I like it, I like it a lot. But words are a little tricky too. All I can suggest is try to have some fun along the way. Lots of times people end up in relationships and are unhappy. It seems all we want is a little understanding and kindness and to be able to share these qualities with people or someone we really care about. Miracles do happen. I agree your circumstance sounds challenging, when I come to obstacles or roadblocks, I usually try to go around them. One thing I am learning too is to try to not get stuck on words, sticky as they may be. Para la vida.

Grandma

 I came here with some of the same frustrations about relationships and I have everything going for me. Reading the info here helped me put things in perspective. You are right, women in general don't want to "carry" a man. No one can give us the answers we seek. I think it is perfectly natural for individuals to wonder why people are the way they are -- just like it is natural to desire a friend or companion to share ourself with. So for what its worth, thank you all.

Hey Guy!

You are totally NOT ALONE MAN!!!  Really!  I can relate like you got no idea!  I am not an ugly woman, but I end up with the worse kinds of men!  I am also disabled, and very messed up with mental health problem that are SUPER SCARY for most!  So, guess who I get?  Druggies, weird-o's and men that have abused me badly!  I recently dumped one in August and he returned  in October and tried to "OFF-me!"  What a loser!  Now, January I gott'a go into court and tell the stupid sorted tale to a judge and get this idiot off the streets so he can't hurt me, someone else or for that matter himself!

Anyways, I got tons to do here,so I gott'a run for now, but I'm posting here now..if ya need a friend, and just fyi  i  also have tons of FUN POSTING in a couple other sites with ezboard...come and be my pal..i can use good friends in my life!  Here's the places, if yer interested at all...LOOK ME UP, hehehe

http://p088.ezboard.com/bwww56024

http://p082.ezboard.com/bmenofwar