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February 13, 2006, 5:07 am PST
We Disagree On Punishment
Quote From: tjscjs87I have 2 kids from a previous. I am now remarried and a 3 month old from this new marriage. My first 2 kids show no respect for their step-dad. He is constantly finding things that are always wrong with what they do. They feel as he is always picking on them. I feel as he is picking on them constantly for nick pick things. But as far as the respect I do feel that they need to be punished for that. My husband and I do not agree upon the punishment, left up to him they would be back handed. I don't believe in that. But everything that I have tried to do to make them learn how to be respectful doesn't work. They are 9 and 12. When they are with their father he lets them do whatever and doesn't have no set boundaries for them. At my house we have rules and chores and boundaries which they totally blow things off when they are told to do something. Granted things aren't always perfect and some days go well. But anymore my husband all that we do the whole time that they are here is argue about they way they behave and being so disrespectful.. What do I do before this destroys my life. I don't know how much more of the stress that I can take from this. First of all your current husband needs to back off and let you punish your children. I don't think it is the responsibility of the stepparent to punish. That being said I do think that the two of you make a united front. These children have already been through a lot and it sounds to me like they may be a little jealous. Maybe you could spend one day a month on just them. Take them to the park or some kind of theme park that may be close by. It won't hurt your husband to spend the day with the baby. This would give you a good chance to talk to your children and find out what is going on with them. Be interested in what happened in school or what their friends are doing. Right now they are at an age where they might enlighten you about themselves. If they don't talk don't pressure it will happen. Just be open to conversation with them children love it when their parents listen to them. As far as punishment the best suggestion I have heard so far is Dr. Phil's take their fun stuff away. Don't let them have stuff back make them earn it back. Make them earn their leisure stuff. I will bet that they will be less apt to be disrespectful if they think they are going to lose their play station etc.. I wish you well and hope that you can get things under control.
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