Replies to 'We Disagree On Punishment'

Dear Dr. Phil, 

        I am married at the age of 16 yrs old (1988), to the father of all 3 of my children. We seperated in 1992 when my baby was 2 years old. Our divorce finally became final in 1994. I got remarried in 1989, to a man I thought was a good man, and for a long time he was. He like everyone else had his faults and so did I, and I still do. He and I seperated in 2000. I have been in another relationship with a different man scence 2004. I was living in TN when I met this man and he was in Iraq, When he came home in Sept. 2004, we met and been together ever sence, I even moved to his home state in PA. Almost 900 miles away from any of my family and the childrens family. At first the children seemed fine with this but sence then my son who is now 18 and still living with me because he is still in school has gotten in trouble with the law, he is not doing well in school at all, he has a girl friend that he can't seem to pull his self away from long enough to do anything else, my 17 year old daughter has moved back to TN and is now living with her Dad and step-mom, and seems to be lying about things to her father and others around her,she is doing well in school though, my 16 year old daughter is driving me crazy, she goes up and down in her school work, she lies, she has an aditude out of this world, she seems to have no respect for anyone,it has been told that she is going to run away, she has been caught with a dull knife when she got caught she told this person she wanted to die, this was after a boy she likes wouldn't pay attention to her. I have sence then gotten her help, not worked yet though. My boyfriend and I fight all the time on how I should disipline my children, he has no children of his own. The children and he argue like 2 and 3 year olds about every thing. And then he wants to make sure that I know what they have done wrong even if I already know it. And he doesn't stop! I have noticed when he is not around my children listen and do what I ask them but when he is around he demands them to do stuff, I dont depand unless I have to ask  more than once. My boyfriend thinks my children tell me what to do, and that I do what ever they say but I pick and chose my battles with my children I always have. My children don't respect him but thats because he doesn't respect them, I believe he is jealous of my relationship with my children and is trying to come between us. It has gotten to the point that I don't want to be with him anymore, and its not just cause of the differences with him and the children, its alot more than that for me.  I miss my family in TN and I know my children do as well, especially my 16 year old daughter, my son says he wants to stay here in PA, cause of his girl friend and to finish school. But as a mother I don't feel like I can leave him in a state with no family members at all around him.  What am I to do? I feel like I am going crazy! Is there any help for my situation?