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Replies to 'Depression'
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February 16, 2006, 12:30 am PST
 Quote From: heather175 It is one of the hardest things to ever do is turn away from someone you dearly love. You did make the right decision to not allow that around your son. You can become stronger as a person by being the best example for your son. I think when you do the right thing to show your children the best way to behave, it just becomes who you are. And in turn your son will be a loving, strong and honorable person. I have been married to my husband for 13 and 1/2 years and he is an alcoholic. It's one of the hardest things to deal with. Thia is the man I vowed before God to love through sickness & in health (even if I was 16 when I vowed it). It is so hard to turn away from someone that you love and I have been commited to since I was 13. We have 2 children that I want to be sweet and loving and giving (and they are very much so) but how do I justify exsposing to the darkness of addiction? I pray all the time for guidance on that. How do I honor the vows i made and yet allow that kind of example to be apart of my childrens life? You sound like a very good, loving mother. You need to do whatever you have to do to keep you and your son safe. And stop by the board ANY TIME for support. You will never meet a bigger group of supportive, caring people in one spot. Even if it's just for a cyber hug. Which SEA is wonderful for handing out. What a tremendous burdon, choosing between your vows before God and exposing your children to the daily effects of alcoholism. Have you tried Al-Anon? My dad and step-dad were both alcoholics. After my dad literally drank himself to death at least 15 years after he and my mom got divorced and about 12 years after she got remarried, my mom started going to Al-Anon to help her deal with the guilt she felt for not being able to help him stop drinking way back then. My step-dad was a drinker then too (not abusive or anything, just extremely moody) and I think she went to Al-Anon to help her deal with that too. That was 14 years ago, and she still goes today. Somewhere along the line, my step-dad stopped drinking too. I don't know if it had anything to do with what my mom learned from Al-Anon or not. She is very non-confrontational and when his drinking got at its worst, she went an bought him some beer, came home and threw it at him and said, "Drink all of this right now and when you're done with it, I'll go and buy you some more until so you can drink until you die. I'm tired of watching you slowly kill yourself so I want you to do it right now." That was big for my mom to do. She would have never done it without the support from her Al-Anon friends. He didn't stop drinking right then, but he did slow down and just stopped cold turkey one day. He really loves my mom and respects her and I think he saw what it was doing to her. Al-Anon has been wonderful therapy for my mom in a lot of aspects of her life. God Bless You! |
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