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Replies to 'Depression'
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February 20, 2006, 3:32 pm PST
 Quote From: hope2faith What a tremendous burdon, choosing between your vows before God and exposing your children to the daily effects of alcoholism. Have you tried Al-Anon? My dad and step-dad were both alcoholics. After my dad literally drank himself to death at least 15 years after he and my mom got divorced and about 12 years after she got remarried, my mom started going to Al-Anon to help her deal with the guilt she felt for not being able to help him stop drinking way back then. My step-dad was a drinker then too (not abusive or anything, just extremely moody) and I think she went to Al-Anon to help her deal with that too. That was 14 years ago, and she still goes today. Somewhere along the line, my step-dad stopped drinking too. I don't know if it had anything to do with what my mom learned from Al-Anon or not. She is very non-confrontational and when his drinking got at its worst, she went an bought him some beer, came home and threw it at him and said, "Drink all of this right now and when you're done with it, I'll go and buy you some more until so you can drink until you die. I'm tired of watching you slowly kill yourself so I want you to do it right now." That was big for my mom to do. She would have never done it without the support from her Al-Anon friends. He didn't stop drinking right then, but he did slow down and just stopped cold turkey one day. He really loves my mom and respects her and I think he saw what it was doing to her. Al-Anon has been wonderful therapy for my mom in a lot of aspects of her life. God Bless You! That's the thing with addiction - you never know if and when the person is going to finally stay clean. Both my parents were alcoholics - my mom drank herself to death ( she lost a gall bladder and then died of cirrhosis). My first husband was a drug addict - I don't know how many times I took him to rehab before I gave up ( and how many humiliations I endured). Like I came home one day and there was a naked woman in my bedroom and the tv was missing. Or the time I had just completed the annual schedule for work on my job's laptop and he took it and sold it for drugs. Or the time I came home from a 2 day work trip to find my infant son without a diaper but wrapped up in a towel. Or the time I came home after my mother's funeral (out of state) and every piece of electronic equipment was gone from our house. You'd think I'd learn - my boyfriend had been clean for 2 years when I met him. We were together for about 7 months before he went off his depression meds and started using again. And I know from experience addiction messes up your kids, all I have to do is look in the mirror. I hate to give up on people - it seems to cruel and I feel bad about putting him out. Especially since I have no idea how he is. |
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