Replies to 'Repairing Broken Relationships'

Quote From: andrea4043

This is a long story, but I promise it is worth every minute of your time. I grew up in an abusive home. My mother would hit me in the face, tell me she hated me and couldn't wait to get me out of her home.I was subjected to sexual abuse by her leaving me alone with her bi sexual boyfriend, I was subjected to physical abuse by her now x husband, I ended up in the juvenile court system and on every psychiatric drug known to man, I attempted suicide over 100 times. Not all were serious, but a few were. My mother would throw me out and then call the police and report me as a runaway to have me arrested.I lived on the streets of Dayton Ohio as a teen. I eventually ended up in a foster home. While all of this was going on I began writing to a boy who was in juvenile prison. My mother knew I was writing him and didn't care. I wrote to him for a year and a half. I was even allowed to go visit him in prison with his mother. The emotional attatchment created with all of the pain in the home was one that I fear will never go away.The day he got out my mother said I was no longer allowed to have any contact with him.I'm sure you can imagine what that was like. I met him at the bus stop with his mother the day he was released I concieved a child. This is where the IMPORTANT part of the story comes in. Turns out my mom was right about the boy, what she was wrong about was allowing me to write an inmate for a year and a half in the first place. So I ended up back at home with my mom. Pregnant at 16. When my baby was born I fell in love instantly. I knew I was going to be the best mother and she was all that I cared about.
My mother kept harrassing me, accusing me of not feeding her, or bathing her enough. She would come home from work and say there are still the same ammount of bottles in the refrigerator as there were when I left. Well that was because each time I fed Lindsay I made a new Bottle so that the refrigerator would always be stocked.I bathed her 1 time every 2 days with sponge baths in between. That is what they told me to do in the hospital. I was doing everything right but she was determined to drive me away. One day I got a visit from child protective services. They said mom had called them and that they were opening a case. This scared me so bad I didn't know what to do. Soon after my mom began throwing me out again. What was I supposed to do take my baby on the street?My mom would say it doesn't matter you might as well leave her here they will eventually take her from you and give her to me. You are too young to raise a child. I believed every word she said to the point that I left and only came to visit Lindsay. Eventually that too became too painful to bear.My mom seemed to really love her and be doing better with her than she ever did with me. So I thought maybe God gave me Lindsay to give my mom a second chance. I ended up signing papers so that my mom could adopt her. 2 years ago I found out that my mom was begining to do the same things to Lindsay that she did to me, and that Lindsay was starting to show some of the same behavior problems that I did. My mom seems to think its all genetic, denying any responsibility. My mom told me she had hit Lindsay in the face "a little too hard" .Lindsay would call me crying after mom would have hit her or told her things like "I hate you" or "you make me sick" "you are ruining my life"etc... I knew things were going just the way they did with me. Now I find out that mom has pressed charges on Lindsay, has her on probation and has had her in juvenile detention.I guess mom never thought that when you abuse a child they might eventually fight back.So now she has her hands full. I could sit back and smile and say she's getting hers now, but the person who is getting hurt the most is Lindsay.
Another element of this story is I have 4 children other than Lindsay and they are all upset by this. Their Grandmother has turned her back on them too. They had been expressing their feelings to me about their sister having been taken away from me, and I told them the best way to deal with their feelings would be to write their grandmother a letter. So they did. Maybe I did the wrong thing by mailing the letters but I felt she needed to know. I called my mother the other day because my oldest daughter was having her 10th birthday and she was asking I wonder if Nanna will call to wish me a happy birthday? My mom got very angry and said that the last time she heard from her grandchildren she got hate mail so she no longer wants to have anything to do with them. Please help my family Dr Phil! If you don't I fear the worse for Lindsay. She is already saying suicidal things and her life is going to be destroyed by my mother if she doesn't get help.