Replies to '02/21 More Wifestyles'

There is a theory that exists in the civic government and law enforcement circles that is referred to as Broken Windows. To paraphrase it, a house with broken windows shows that no one cares. If neglected long enough, the house with broken windows will be assumed to be abandoned, invaded by mischief seekers (or worse) and rapidly decay from there. My interpretation of this theory is that attention to details is very important. Not every kid that witnesses his mother neglecting her home will become a drug pusher or a pimp on the south side of town. I think you really extended yourself making that kind of conclusion. But, what does it teach a kid about grooming and personal cleanliness when he or she grows up in a house kept in disarray. Children benefit from routines in their lives - go look it up in a book.

Plain and simple, I don't know ONE PERSON WHO LIVES LIKE YOU.  You are a loser.  My X husband once told me laundry was beneath him.  Well, he's doing it now. And by the way, you are gonna have to look real real real hard to find a woman that nice and good looking again.  Coz, you aint worth it.

 Bravo!!

Anyone see "Sleeping With The Enemy"  with Julia Roberts?  He had something in common with Grant as far as the condition of the home and quality of the meals expectations.   If the cans in the cupboard weren't not only stacked properly and with the Front of the labels showing, or the towels weren't hung evenly....watch out.   Unfortunately I don't think Grant "got it" when Dr. Phil tried, and tried to enlighten him.  He most likely feels that if he doesn't criticize, then after awhile she WILL BE PERFECT!!   As far as I could tell, there home wasn't a total disaster, full of junk and no pathway to walk in.  His complaints are beyond petty and critical.  They're demeaning.  And insulting.  Demoralizing. 

What a sad, sad example of a husband.  Why is it so important to him that everything measures
 up to His standards?   He seems such a control freak that I feel a lot of empathy for Kelly.  Another thought...why does he feel He's such a prize?  If I were ever given a list of 75 things that I apparently didn't measure up to, I'd be out the door in a flash.    And as far as Grant not wearing his wedding ring,  if he were my son I'd ream him up one side and down the other. 

WELL SAID!    He really gets off on himself, doesn't he? And Angry??? That smirk looked more to me like he was enjoying. himself. I didn't believe anything that came out of his mouth. He goes on ad nauseum with the same old spiel. Its all about him. His attitude shows that he didn't absorb ANY of the good advice he was given. Hopeless!

I agree with what you are saying about being respondsible and being a good example to our children.  But being a stay at home mom, I am often having to look at the big picture of my childs life.  Will she remember that I didn't play with her because I was cleaning house. I think that being a committed mother and wife is essential in fostering a child who is well adjusted, confident and respondsible for their own actions and life choices. I also feel that if I am not plugged into my daughter because I am under so much pressure to have a spotless house, I will miss many opportunities to teach and grow her.   My husband and I share the same conflicts as you do.  I see resentment in him at times when it appears that I did not "do anything" during the day while he was off working so very hard.   I also know that much of what I do, in home schooling and meeting other respondsibilities  doesn't seem evident to him when he comes home because they are "invisible chores".  he wants to know, when he comes in the door that I have worked very hard all day and have taken his needs into consideration.  As a wife, my biggest priority should be to love him unconditionally, to tell him how proud I am of him and to let him know that his needs matter to me.  To display to him that his needs and desires are not ignored because I am so wrapped up in mothering.  So, when he comes home and I have tidied the house and have dinner in the works, he feels like I am holding up my end of the work load and it makes him feel more appreciated and not taken for granted or advantage of.  One more thing.  The issue over not wearing a wedding ring.  Teach your children about  being respondsible and about committment by wearing it.  It show's them, your wife, and the world that no matter how things are going, you are committed to your marraige and family.   My wedding ring represents a life long commitment to stick with it no matter what.  It is hard work, but there is little that is more satisfying, rewarding and secure then to know we are 100% committed to our marraige and family, even when the house isn't up to snuff.  Just love her and the peices will come together.