Replies to '02/22 Wedding Wars'

I  can only hope that my in-laws watch the show as well.  My husband has allowed his parents to control his life, they even told him he needed to marry me.  They changed their mind once I started supporting and encouraging him to make his own decisions.  At 28 he almost had a heart attack when we went to buy a car, never having made a decision of that magnitude on his own before.  I hope that the couple, on the show, think long and hard about the life they are choosing to start together.  It is very hard to start a life together without having a set of parents trying to control your life.  It’s hard enough making decisions  with each other,  throwing more opinions in the mix just makes it unbearable.  

 If the son isn’t sticking up for his future wife now, what will the future hold?  I bet the mother’s husband is hen pecked and controlled by her as well.  No one stands up to this woman and my bet is she has found the first person who is willing too.  The one thing these mothers never understand is that all we want is a chance to live our lives as well as we can, making our own mistakes, and getting ahead as we chose, not as we are told. I know I never intended to push my husband away from his family; however he chose to distance himself because it made his life easier, I didn’t cry as much and he didn’t need to hear how awful he or we were doing.  He now only visits without me because he doesn’t want me to be hurt, it was a decision that HE made, because of HER actions.  

My husband and I have had a very rocky start, SO I wish them all the best and much luck in their future. I recommend setting limits and talking about how things will be handled before they get married, it will take some of the pressure off once they are married.   

Kids grow up and parents need to accept it and grow up too. 

My son's girlfriend is a Syrian Druze. Her family has completely different values and ideas from ours and it has been a challenge and learning experience for us with both positive and negative aspects, but we've tried to be warm and accepting.  

Right now, my son and this gal have put the relationship on hold. Neither of them has ever dated anyone else and they have been going out almost 4 years and just turned 22. While my husband and I are encouraging them both to explore other friendships and relationships before committing, we know its not our decision to make.  

Because my own mother-in-law was jealous, critical, and mean-spirited to me and her other daughter-in-laws, I went out of my way to be kind and supportive of this young woman. We all need all the love and acceptance we can get and the more you give, the more you get back. 

My son and this gal may or may not have a future together, but it does not hurt anyone to offer as much kindness and support as you can.  

I think the issue goes way beyond parenting and extends to how we treat all other humans. Do we offer them our respect, our understanding, and our compassion whenever we can? If we impose our own religion, church, and ideas on people, we drive them away and we ourselves fail to learn something different that might help us in our own lives.  

The future is always a bit scary. I think this woman needs to look hard at her own fears and see that they are the main problem, not her son's bride to be.