Replies to 'Sleep Issues'

   Okay, this is going to sound like preaching, but I don't mean it that way.  I'm just telling you MY opinions here and my experience.  Your experience is undoubtedly different and you know what they say about opinions :P     

   My daughter is almost 18 months old.  The best thing we have done to help with her getting up at night or not wanting to go to sleep in the first place is to be firm.  we have the routine down.  She gets changed, put in her jammies, she helps pick out a bedtime stuffed animal and she carries her blankie to her bed. She also has a sound activated lullaby toy which we start up when it's time for bed.  It goes through a one hour song cycle then kicks in any time in the night she cries.  This is a godsend. 

         After that if she gets up, my husband is the one who deals with her.  He is very firm.  He puts her back in bed, tucks her back in and tells her repeatedly "You have to be in BED now. It is night night time".  He stays in with her occassionally for short periods, rubbing her back and telling her she is a good girl.  But if she tries to get back out of bed after he leaves, he is stern with her.  He tells her flatout NO!  and puts her right back in.  If she tries to throw a tantrum he just restrains her gently so she stays on her side laying down and he talks to her softly and rubs her back.  Sometimes he goes through this once or twice a night, but it works.  The biggest thing we have going for us is consistency.  That and I am a light sleeper.  I know immediately if she gets out of bed.   

        We love her, but we both agree-WE MAKE HER SCHEDULE, SHE DOES NOT.  Getting up at night to reinforce this is trying, but it is worth it to make sure she knows we mean business. 

        Also PLEASE parents, stop beating yourself up over divorces you got years beforehand.  I guarantee you, sleep troubles are not gonna be rooted in a 5 year old divorce if your child was too young to remember when it happened.   

        Kids with both parents often don't want to sleep alone or stay in bed either.  The only thing I think a few divorces may have caused is lingering guilt.  For that matter, seems like some may be allowing that guilt to lead them to become a bit more lenient with their children than they would like to be.  Being firm with your child and letting them know there are rules they need to follow is a GOOD thing.  And that doesn't change just because you and their other bio parent are not together. 

        As for those whose children have been sleeping in bed with them, I sympathize.  The sleep deprivation must be Hell.  But, not to be cruel,  you allowed a bad habit to develop and habits are always gonna be harder to break than they were to form.  It's going to take time, firmness, consistency and patience.  It will pay off in the long run.  What you're doing is resetting boundaries and it's important that kids have those boundaries.   

     "Mommy loves you, but mommy has her own space/time/food/bed", etc.   

       I can do this.  You can do this.   Let's just take it one day at a time and thank our lucky stars for these amazing little people (even if they are opposed to regular sleep schedules). 

I apologize for such a long post.  Take care everyone.