Replies to 'Balancing Work and Family'
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February 28, 2006, 9:48 am PST
 Quote From: kgoetsch My husband works for a company that has jobsites in a 400 mile radius of our home. I am a young SAHM to a 5 and 4 yr. old and a 2 week old. He also has 2 kids ages 3 and 7 who are here 50 % of the time......I am new to this town and know NO ONE and have only one relative who lives 1800 miles away. I have suffered from Depression since age 12 and after treating it 2 years ago and feeling good enough to go off my meds.....I now know it's time to go back on them. My husbands company keeps him out 2-3 weeks and home 3-4 days.....not a ratio of time conducive to having a new marriage, new baby, depressed/lonely wife and blended family. He is supposed to get 24 hours minimum notice when he's being sent to another job.....this NEVER happens, he gets 2-3 hours notice to "pack up and head to ____ " and doesn't know if he'll be at that jobsite for 2 days, 2 weeks, or.......??? They don't tell him when he is set to come back home until the day before they send him home!!! So when he leaves I don't even know how long til he comes back!!! My question is: Do I make him quit? (almost impossible to do because he makes GOOD money and we live in a rural depressed economy in Oklahoma and his previous job was the best in the area at $7 an hour, he now makes about 5 times that so quitting kinda sorta isn't an option) or do I put up with it and slowly lose my mind, thus ruining a marriage I VERY MUCH want to last??? Someone give advice!! My head hurts from playing Devil/Angel and weighing all this in my head on top of carrying EVERYTHING at home including kids, finances, chores, his nasty ex-wife (long story regarding her mouth and his poor kids hearing too much bad stuff about their Daddy) and trying to recover from a C-section I had only 12 days ago!! Yes he is off on a job right now (left 2 days after baby was born)
Thanks!
P.S. Just to clarify also, I am not religious so joining Church groups not an option (someone suggested this to me) and my town is about 3000 people with nearest town 45 min. away......clubs or volunteering kind of hard too. Just gets better and better don't it?! LOL Hi, I just saw your post. I am a 46 year old stay-at-home mom of 2 and I also work at home for a company called AmeriPlanUSA. They are awesome to work for. I absolutely love it! I was in the Air Force for 13 years when my husband (who is retired Air Force) and I decided to have kids. So, I got out. As my kids got older, and our finances got worse, my husband had to take a part time job to make ends meet. I knew I needed to find something to bring in some money so he can quit his part time and be home with us, but I didn't want to leave my kids. So I searched for 2 years for something legit and finally found what I was looking for. My husband helps me with it also and soon he will be able to quit his job and be home with us. And then we both will have a career at home. This is a totally fantastic feeling. I would truly love to help you if you you would like. That's what I do, is help people and it's such a rewarding feeling. Take care. |
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June 29, 2006, 8:28 am PDT
Quote From: kgoetsch My husband works for a company that has jobsites in a 400 mile radius of our home. I am a young SAHM to a 5 and 4 yr. old and a 2 week old. He also has 2 kids ages 3 and 7 who are here 50 % of the time......I am new to this town and know NO ONE and have only one relative who lives 1800 miles away. I have suffered from Depression since age 12 and after treating it 2 years ago and feeling good enough to go off my meds.....I now know it's time to go back on them. My husbands company keeps him out 2-3 weeks and home 3-4 days.....not a ratio of time conducive to having a new marriage, new baby, depressed/lonely wife and blended family. He is supposed to get 24 hours minimum notice when he's being sent to another job.....this NEVER happens, he gets 2-3 hours notice to "pack up and head to ____ " and doesn't know if he'll be at that jobsite for 2 days, 2 weeks, or.......??? They don't tell him when he is set to come back home until the day before they send him home!!! So when he leaves I don't even know how long til he comes back!!! My question is: Do I make him quit? (almost impossible to do because he makes GOOD money and we live in a rural depressed economy in Oklahoma and his previous job was the best in the area at $7 an hour, he now makes about 5 times that so quitting kinda sorta isn't an option) or do I put up with it and slowly lose my mind, thus ruining a marriage I VERY MUCH want to last??? Someone give advice!! My head hurts from playing Devil/Angel and weighing all this in my head on top of carrying EVERYTHING at home including kids, finances, chores, his nasty ex-wife (long story regarding her mouth and his poor kids hearing too much bad stuff about their Daddy) and trying to recover from a C-section I had only 12 days ago!! Yes he is off on a job right now (left 2 days after baby was born)
Thanks!
P.S. Just to clarify also, I am not religious so joining Church groups not an option (someone suggested this to me) and my town is about 3000 people with nearest town 45 min. away......clubs or volunteering kind of hard too. Just gets better and better don't it?! LOL I feel for you. I know what it is like to live in a rural area. It isn't easy. I think your case is worse than mine though. This might be hard to hear but you have to weigh out what is more important to you and your husband. I would surely hope it is your family. He might have to take a lower paying job and even drive 45 min to work(like I have)but he is home at night and every weekend most of the time. You might have to cut back on some things but your time with him and your family will be so valuable. You could even work part time when he wasn't so he could be with the kids. That gives him his time with the kids as well. I read your church message. Don't think of it as being religious to go to church. That isn't true. You don't have to join either. It is a peaceful feeling. It is a stress free environment to just feel blessed for what you do have and pray for the things you need. If you do try it, whick I hope you do, please let me know what your experience is. It may help with your depression but you will never know if you do not try. God bless you and be strong. I know it is a tough world out there and I hope something I said will be of some help even if it is a just a little!! Take Care!!!!! |
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November 8, 2006, 7:48 am PST
Quote From: kgoetsch My husband works for a company that has jobsites in a 400 mile radius of our home. I am a young SAHM to a 5 and 4 yr. old and a 2 week old. He also has 2 kids ages 3 and 7 who are here 50 % of the time......I am new to this town and know NO ONE and have only one relative who lives 1800 miles away. I have suffered from Depression since age 12 and after treating it 2 years ago and feeling good enough to go off my meds.....I now know it's time to go back on them. My husbands company keeps him out 2-3 weeks and home 3-4 days.....not a ratio of time conducive to having a new marriage, new baby, depressed/lonely wife and blended family. He is supposed to get 24 hours minimum notice when he's being sent to another job.....this NEVER happens, he gets 2-3 hours notice to "pack up and head to ____ " and doesn't know if he'll be at that jobsite for 2 days, 2 weeks, or.......??? They don't tell him when he is set to come back home until the day before they send him home!!! So when he leaves I don't even know how long til he comes back!!! My question is: Do I make him quit? (almost impossible to do because he makes GOOD money and we live in a rural depressed economy in Oklahoma and his previous job was the best in the area at $7 an hour, he now makes about 5 times that so quitting kinda sorta isn't an option) or do I put up with it and slowly lose my mind, thus ruining a marriage I VERY MUCH want to last??? Someone give advice!! My head hurts from playing Devil/Angel and weighing all this in my head on top of carrying EVERYTHING at home including kids, finances, chores, his nasty ex-wife (long story regarding her mouth and his poor kids hearing too much bad stuff about their Daddy) and trying to recover from a C-section I had only 12 days ago!! Yes he is off on a job right now (left 2 days after baby was born)
Thanks!
P.S. Just to clarify also, I am not religious so joining Church groups not an option (someone suggested this to me) and my town is about 3000 people with nearest town 45 min. away......clubs or volunteering kind of hard too. Just gets better and better don't it?! LOL i am from a small town in oklahoma, maybe even close by. my hubby works for halliburton, i know i said that they have layoffs but they havent had one in a long time, they are getting rid of my hubby's section soon but there are other places to go for the good workers. they just hired some guys that had no expierience and trained them, they started out making about $15 an hour. they have good insurance. and i mean GOOD insurance. it might not be as much pay but it is something to start with. my hubby has been there for over 5 years. he loves it and the guys there are great. maybe your hubby should try. just a thought. anyways hope you have luck in everything. i unsderstand how it is to have young children. i only have 2 though. a girl that is 3 and a boy that is 6 months. if you need anything aor just to talk i am here for you. |
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