what is your medical condition?
This is a very hard subject to talk about so bravo to you for posting about it. Many people would not even want to hear about it PERIOD. Many people would also say if it makes you uncomfortable don't do it and the problem is his not yours. In a marriage though the problem is both of yours, right? Aside from his trying to convince you to do anal, he sounds emotionally abusive. Are there other areas in your marriage that he is just not nice to you? That isn't what you psoted about though so back to anal sex...
Anal sex can be extremely stimulating, very orgasmic. Pure Vitamin E oil is a good lubricant- Ky etc...actually seem to make it DRIER. There are other lubricants that are specifically designed for analsex with numbing ingredients. I think that would negate why you are making this type of love though. If you are gentle during penetration there really should not be any pain. I would suggest that you allow your husband to use his finger(s )first and then the two of you move into a more comfortable level by adding another finger etc...
Of course, you shouldn't do anything rectally if you really do have a medical condition, you should talk to your primary care DR about attempting anal before this.
You should also talk to your husband about his form of marital blackmail! Tell him you try to do this because you love him not because he is threatening you. Then, purchase the biggest dildo you can find, and tell him YOU want to try anal sex on him too! :) hahahaha
