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Replies to '06/12 On the Outs With In-Laws'
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February 28, 2006, 12:53 am PST
 Quote From: txkatie54 I think you are wrong, my daughter-in-law has moved through our family like a mac truck, mowing down everyone who gets in her way, but to hurt her as much or more than she has hurt us would only be bringing the rest of us down to her level. It started before my sons wedding when my daughter could not afford a hundred dollar tux for my four year old grandson to wear as ring bearer, she was told by my daughter_in_law that he would be replaced. My grandson thought his uncle hung the moon and was really excited to be in the wedding and would have been crushed, so my daughter managed to borrow the money and get the tux. At the reception, my daughter_in_law got angry at the groomsmen and made them all leave the reception. My son no longer speaks to his former friends.After returning from their honeymoon, they were living with my daughter. One evening while having drinks with my son and his new wife and five other friends, my daughter-in-law said that she hated my four year old grandson so much that she wished someone would smack him so hard that he would fly up against the wall and die. I did not tell my daughter what she said, but my sister did and my daughter made them move out. My son asked me to lie to my daughter and say his wife didn't say it. That ended the relationship between my son and daughter and between my son and his nephew. I could go on and on about how she has hurt us, as I write this "they" have decided that I am dead to them and want no contact with me. I really have no idea what I did this time. All I do know for certain is that to say nothing is the better way. To tell either of them that I don't want them in my life anymore would just bring me down to their level and trying to hurt or manipulate her like she has done our family would just give her more power. Anyway my choice was to just walk away and not say anything anymore. My son is my son and I love him very much and this situation hurts me to the core, but what else can I do? He is sticking by his wife, as he should and I am after all just his mother. Any contact I would try to make with either one of them she would consider harassment. So I keep silent. I have not seen or heard from either of them since October 2005 and don't expect I ever will again. Hopefully one day your son will take off his blinders and realize and hopefully it won't be too late! You can only destroy so much before hopefully he will take a step back and realize what she is doing to his family. My thought is she doesn't love him she couldn't or she wouldn't hurt his family! Even if you were a bit** (not saying that you are) she still should respect the fact you are his mother who created the man she supposedly loves! And the rest of his family for that matter! Hang in there and hopefully one day he will realize! |
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February 28, 2006, 4:41 am PST
Quote From: txkatie54 I think you are wrong, my daughter-in-law has moved through our family like a mac truck, mowing down everyone who gets in her way, but to hurt her as much or more than she has hurt us would only be bringing the rest of us down to her level. It started before my sons wedding when my daughter could not afford a hundred dollar tux for my four year old grandson to wear as ring bearer, she was told by my daughter_in_law that he would be replaced. My grandson thought his uncle hung the moon and was really excited to be in the wedding and would have been crushed, so my daughter managed to borrow the money and get the tux. At the reception, my daughter_in_law got angry at the groomsmen and made them all leave the reception. My son no longer speaks to his former friends.After returning from their honeymoon, they were living with my daughter. One evening while having drinks with my son and his new wife and five other friends, my daughter-in-law said that she hated my four year old grandson so much that she wished someone would smack him so hard that he would fly up against the wall and die. I did not tell my daughter what she said, but my sister did and my daughter made them move out. My son asked me to lie to my daughter and say his wife didn't say it. That ended the relationship between my son and daughter and between my son and his nephew. I could go on and on about how she has hurt us, as I write this "they" have decided that I am dead to them and want no contact with me. I really have no idea what I did this time. All I do know for certain is that to say nothing is the better way. To tell either of them that I don't want them in my life anymore would just bring me down to their level and trying to hurt or manipulate her like she has done our family would just give her more power. Anyway my choice was to just walk away and not say anything anymore. My son is my son and I love him very much and this situation hurts me to the core, but what else can I do? He is sticking by his wife, as he should and I am after all just his mother. Any contact I would try to make with either one of them she would consider harassment. So I keep silent. I have not seen or heard from either of them since October 2005 and don't expect I ever will again. I am reading between the lines, I don't think this is the whole story. There is a tendency to slant the facts when relaying an unpleasant experience to favor the narrator. I am picking up on that martyr attitude that my own Mother In Law has. She is soooo innocent. What were the groomsmen doing to be asked to leave? Drunk, too loud, disrupting an expensive, important day? The incident with the child is not acceptable. One of the adults [your son], at the gathering should have spoken up. Although the nephew may be an obnoxious brat, saying this in the home the sister in law is graciously allowing them to live in is very, very poor form. I love my son and think the girl he is engaged to is great for him. My own MIL has shown me how I don't want to be. That poor me attitude is so annoying. When my husbands brother married, my new sister in law thought I was just being harsh toward the boys mom, after all she is sooo goood. It was a few years later after they had a baby that she started to see how manipulative the woman really was. She has done things that have overstepped boundaries continually and gotten away with it. She lies, and my husband knows it, but she seems so innocent! It is sad that your family is in turmoil. As a matriarchal figure you may be able to make a difference by admitting any fault you have in the situation. Even if it is hard the people involved can make an attempt to fix the damage. Money , bratty kids and controlling, manipulative women make a very volatile combination. Powerful women in a clan can clean up many problems with some cooperation and effort from all. Give it a try and be patient,not everyone grows at the same rate. Good luck. |
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June 12, 2006, 12:51 pm PDT
Quote From: txkatie54 I think you are wrong, my daughter-in-law has moved through our family like a mac truck, mowing down everyone who gets in her way, but to hurt her as much or more than she has hurt us would only be bringing the rest of us down to her level. It started before my sons wedding when my daughter could not afford a hundred dollar tux for my four year old grandson to wear as ring bearer, she was told by my daughter_in_law that he would be replaced. My grandson thought his uncle hung the moon and was really excited to be in the wedding and would have been crushed, so my daughter managed to borrow the money and get the tux. At the reception, my daughter_in_law got angry at the groomsmen and made them all leave the reception. My son no longer speaks to his former friends.After returning from their honeymoon, they were living with my daughter. One evening while having drinks with my son and his new wife and five other friends, my daughter-in-law said that she hated my four year old grandson so much that she wished someone would smack him so hard that he would fly up against the wall and die. I did not tell my daughter what she said, but my sister did and my daughter made them move out. My son asked me to lie to my daughter and say his wife didn't say it. That ended the relationship between my son and daughter and between my son and his nephew. I could go on and on about how she has hurt us, as I write this "they" have decided that I am dead to them and want no contact with me. I really have no idea what I did this time. All I do know for certain is that to say nothing is the better way. To tell either of them that I don't want them in my life anymore would just bring me down to their level and trying to hurt or manipulate her like she has done our family would just give her more power. Anyway my choice was to just walk away and not say anything anymore. My son is my son and I love him very much and this situation hurts me to the core, but what else can I do? He is sticking by his wife, as he should and I am after all just his mother. Any contact I would try to make with either one of them she would consider harassment. So I keep silent. I have not seen or heard from either of them since October 2005 and don't expect I ever will again. Hang in there TxKatie. Any woman who would say something that evil about a four year old child is bad to the bone. The marriage won't last and your son will return. Let's just hope he gets custody of any children involved. |
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