Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'

A long time ago (sounds like the beginning of a fairy tale doesn't it), I read a book that said that we do choose our parents, family, mistakes, hurts as children.  That we do this when we are with GOD and that when we do this, we are choosing the lessons on this plane.  That knowledge has helped me to see my life events differently.  I also believe that if I don't get it right this time, I'll come back here - it's called KARMA.  It's also called Reincarnation.  That I will return again and again because when I'm up there, I see it differently.  My goal is to never ever come back here again. 

For me, the AHA moment came with my mom when I was eating lunch with a girlfriend and I was talking to her about the events.  I needed another outside person to help me because all my other friends had been in my life for so long they were no longer able to see the situation any different than what it is for me. 

She asked me 1 question:  How old was my mother when she had me:  I told her 19 years old.  She told me, your mother is really close to your age and is jealous of you.  I thought she was crazy but I journaled about it, I thought about it, and then I used it on the next situation and it fitted. 

My mother is jealous of me - she doesn't want me to talk because than others would like me more.  When I was with her family, I saw it clearly and it is just her truth.  Her own lack of self-esteem is at the very core of it. 

And I too know what it's like to know that my other siblings are her "buddies" - and that's okay cause now, I can get on with my own life and know that she has them to fall back onto.  I don't have to feel guilty or ashamed that I'm not doing right to her.   

The best piece is that I had an AHA moment when I was writing about this weekend's event to my WLC Support Group - I realized why I talk so much -- I've been chastised so much that I'm repeating her behavior and it's a reflection I share with her.  I can now challenge that behavior with the truth and I will no longer be like her anymore.   

Martha Beck wrote an article a while ago about reflection/mirrors -- that what we don't like in someone else is because it's apart of who we are!  I first read about this in Shakti Gawain's book LIVING IN THE LIGHT back in the early 90's.  It allowed me to change quite a bit of my thinking/behaviors/habits.