Replies to '06/12 On the Outs With In-Laws'

We always see shows about mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws not getting along and I guess it's because mothers think that no woman is good enough for their sons or something. I really lucked out- my mother-in-law is the best. I too, have a child from another relationship ( and he is an older child ) and she treats him as loving as her biological grandson. She tells ppl that she loves me like a daughter. She never is meddling. She is an example of what a mother-in-law should be. I think that she knows that I love her son, and truly have his best interest at heart. I wish everyone could have such a positive experience. 

I'm sorry to hear that you don't get along with your mil. It puts such a strain on your relationship with your husband. I am fortunate enough to absolutely adore my mil. she is understanding and patient, and never once has she put her nose where it doesn't belong. Even when I ask for advice, she is careful not to tell me what to do. However, I do have an extremely frustrating Sister In Law. No matter what the family member, the husband or wife that is blood related to them ends up feeling stuck in the middle. I feel that my sister-in-law is jealous of my relationship with my husband as well. She seems jealous of the closeness that we have. Maybe they feel they lost part of their relationships with our husbands. 

As hard as it may be, maybe you could try hanging out with your mil a little more so she can get to know you as a person rather than just her sons wife. Maybe even encourage your husband to take your mother in law out to dinner just the two of them so she won't worry so much you are taking him away from her. My mil sent me an email that said  

"Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after a child gets married,  

.......somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings." 

 I truly believe it should and can be this way 

Some mothers-in-law don't understand that no one died and  made them God. They feel that THEIR way is THE way and if others don't fall in line, they get pissed off. 

There's also the lack of understanding on many family members' parts (not just mothers-in-law) that it's simply not their job to take their family member's inventory. This is what a lot of people who are judgmental miss: they may be 100% absolutely for certain right about their family member's behavior, child raising skills, cleanliness or not, etc. BUT...SO WHAT? People have a right to live their lives the way THEY see fit whether or not that complies with mommy's or anyone else's view.