Replies to '02/21 More Wifestyles'

Diana, have read the posting through both shows and I alternately think you are right on or out of your mind. I have a feeling you are more middle ground than you come across.

I don't get the sense that Stay at home Moms think, be nice, chase the kids, and your day is done. It's the idea of viewing your spouse as your employer/boss that offends many women. Think about it, most companies will not allow spouses to work in the same department, especially if one is in a supervisory position. It rarely works.

Before I met my wonderful husband, I was in a relationship with a man who was incredibly critical (ironically enough, he was an electrical engineer!). he told me how to drive, dress, cook, brush my teeth, and do MY job as a teacher. ANd the relationship doesn't start that way,,,,it is slow, and insidious until you are so demoralized and emotionally drained you don't know how to break the cycle . I thank God everyday that I didn't marry the guy. With children, it would have gotten so much worse. The kicker is, he HONESTLY thought what he was doing was okay. His take was, if I'm better at something, why shouldn't I show you how to so it better. I'm helping! Somehow, he assumed he was better at EVERYTHING!

Maybe the big NOT GETTING IT is not living in someone else's shoes. Bree says she is 24 and married two years. If she met her Prince Charming at such a young age and they truly share a vision for their family and future, that's great. Most of us had to kiss a few frogs along the way and have become jaded and defensive. To make yourself financially and emotionally vulnerable to someone else can be scary.

I think Dr. Phil GETS IT. (I am a huge fan) If you read the overview of this topic it states that he focused on Grant because his critical spirit was overshadowing anything Kelly was doing or not doing. I don't think reorganizing the house will fix the relationship. I do believe that fixing the relationship might help get the externals of the house in order.

Strangely, since the show aired, I've had a really good week in terms of keeping my own two toddler house in order. Go figure! My husband is also getting lots of appreciation (if the house gets crazy, he asks, how can I help?). Now I have to go peel Elmo stickers off the kitchen floor!

Julie