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February 28, 2006, 10:08 am PST
So off the mark
Quote From: steff313I don't think it's fair to imply that her family is not happy with the situation the way it is, or that she is controling. We don't know how hard they have tried to mend fences with her MIL or that her husband even wants to have a relationship with her.
As far as the grandchildren go, I can say from personal experience that my parents' marriage and my childhood would have been better had my mother kept her mother from us. She was a terribly mean woman, who contributed nothing but drama, chaos, and hatred to our lives. My father was always cordial to her, but her hatred for him was palpable. I have never felt anything but contempt for her. I beg to differ with you, Gradmabear.
When there is no resolution to the problem with the family, one does break away from them. Anna Laura's sister-in-law is exactly right when she tells Anna Laura that if this continues, it will kill her.
Family does not give anyone the privilege of abusing others. We expect strangers on the street to abuse us, not members of our own families. I speak from experience when I say I broke away from my mother and I had NO choice. It was me or her, and my survival instinct was still too strong. That, and I had an obligation to my own child. It's not easy, to do or to live with, but you have to weigh the costs and it was too expensive a proposition to contribute to the next generation's being made miserable because of one abusive member of the family -- mother or not, grandmother or not.
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