Replies to '02/22 Wedding Wars'

Hello! 

Why are you "allowing" this to happen to you?  And, don't tell Kim to think long & hard.  She has already spent 5 years with her guy.  The guy's mother, however, had quite a few characteristics in common (that I saw on TV) with the mother-in-law on today's (2/28) show. 

From my observation, "something" is going on between mother & son, although it may not  immediately translate into something that can be described by either for many years.  "Mama's boy" is very common, it seems.  And, the poor guys don't know it until something hits the fan.  Kim kept touching her guy, while his mother mouthed things against Kim, like "not a Christian" (whatever)  & really denegrated her.  Mom does not want her 33 year-old son to marry this gal.  Or, for that matter, ANY gal!  Mom will use religion, race, "suitability", attitude -- whatever will put down the Other Woman in her son's life. I can only pray that Sonny sees this for what it is -- obsession -- & will do what he can to protect the woman he loves (hopefully, you). 

When I was in my early 20's, I was engaged to a guy who was going through college (2 years' difference in age), & his mother did NOT like me, although she acted pleased to see me when we visited, etc.  You get the picture.  However, when Sonny Boy was home & he called me to see how I was, etc., she would find an excuse to come into the room he was in & interrupt & start to tell him something, completely butting into our conversation & she'd insist that Sonny come with her because she had to show him something.  For awhile, I tolerated it that he would put down the phone, at his mother's wishes, & go off to see what she wanted (hoping it would be short), but after 5-6 times I waited for him to pick up the phone again AFTER A 1/2 HOUR!!!!!, I knew what was going on.  So, I started to give him 10 minutes, & then I would hang up.  Wouldn't you?  But when he called me back, FURIOUS  that I HAD HUNG UP ON HIM!!!!!, I would tell him the amount of time I spent waiting for him to pick up the phone again, & I said I was not waiting any more than 10 minutes from here on in.  Mumsy was winning this.  Hands down. 

I didn't marry him.  Thank God!!! 

By the way, all the other mothers of my respective boyfriends thought I was just peachy keen, even if marriage maybe was in the offing, & with some mothers, we even stayed in contact after "boyfriend du jour" & I parted company.  Imagine going over to your ex-boyfriend's parents for a Friday dinner every so often & his Mom would make my favorate dish?!!!  And this would be months after we broke up!  I think because when Sonny was going out with me, I got along so well with his family that we would go over to Mom's for Sunday Dinner every couple of weeks & she would see her son more than usual -- because of me!   This was true of all my other boyfriends after the Toxic/Jealous Mother I had to endure for a couple of years.  Ladies, if you're not getting along with your mother-in-law (either new or of a couple of years' standing), something needs to be changed.  And, your guy has to be made aware of the problem & he DOES have to step up to the plate to talk to his mother (NOT your job!) to sort things out.  And, yes, "pretending" does go on -- if Mom is a schemer, she'll befriend you to learn your weaknesses.  You have to figure it out.  

I didn't like either mother on the show.  I've had experience with lying mothers & people who "twisted" things to their advantage & who played the martyr card.  Be careful.  Just get away from them.  Period. 

Regards to all, 

J