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Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'
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August 17, 2005, 12:29 pm PDT
 Quote From: blgspc I am sorry to hear that you had such a negative experience in your efforts to reach out to your mother. It does sound like you've at least come to a resolve about where you are with her, though. Glad you were able to process the anger. I particularly liked your sign-off, "Marcia- a 52 year old woman who has finally accepted her mother."
I sure ain't able to exactly say I've accepted mine!
I saw that you visited the 'Palmetto State'! My home.
Take Care. I sure can relate to BAD 'mother' experiences!!!
Brenda My goal was to finally bring closure with my mom & I. I needed to acknowledge the truth about our relationship and in all honesty, I have no anger or bitterness. I know where & why she's like she is ... we are products of our childhood experiences and she really didn't have it easy. Fact is, I really don't have much to complain about when I hear others talk/write about their's.
But today, I felt really really good cause I went shopping for the Walton School kids - they are coming to school with no supplies so I went & got them some. I picked up 20 boxes of crayons in Rock Hill, SC flea market (man gave me 10 boxes when I told him what they were for -- his price was 5 boxes for $1); today I picked up notebook paper (3 pkgs - 325 sheets in each pkg); 3 binders; 3 packages of pens, 12 bottles of white glue for $3, 9 rullers for $3; 3 writing pads for $3; and 6 pkgs of pencil top erasers (25 in each pkg) for $3. I'm going back to Walgreens to buy more binders, pens & notebook paper later this week. It lifted my spirits and doing this type of work is something my mom did teach me.
Brenda, I finally was able to turn my Self Matter tools to my mom a few months ago and it's been hard because I do love her and she loves me - she's just doesn't like all that makes me a person. But that's her pattern speaking and I know she doesn't know she's got a script like that. She did call me this morning and apolized for being such a bitchy person. And for her, that's a major accomplishment for me. But I now know what triggers and I can make sure that it's not trigger around me anymore! I made alist -- in fact, I took my little pieces of paper with all my little notes with me and read them over and over every day to make sure that I kept my focus. It worked BIG TIME!!! Now, I am able to focus on other stuff.
Today, I applied for a job at a catholic thrift shop -- I would love to do that type of charity work. To give back -- again, that's something my mom has taught me. She has so many good things about her - and a lot of it has been absorbed by me and I'm so thankful for it.
Marcia |
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