Quote From: 24yearsI've been married 26 years and my husband left me and the children and moved back in with his parents......it's been 3 months.....I believe in until death do us part.I am praying and waiting for him to come home.
How scary this is....our youngest child starts Kindergarten and Daddy is not at home.
I would love to hear from spouses who have abandoned their family...What lies did you tell yourself to make yourself believe it was OK to do this ?
And if you reconciled...what did it take and how long did it take ???
I have been married for 28 years and he has been living with his 75 year old parents for the past four months. No conversations, no fights, no idea that he was going to do this. He moved out while I was walking the dog. He didn't want to deal with the conflict, so he took his guns, left a note "I'm sorry, Goodbye". I hope you are not making excuses for him. My husband made excuses for what he did and all of them were based on something I did or didn't do. He hasn't told anyone that he had an internet affair with an "old" high school girlfriend while I was in the same room with him(I trusted him unconditionally). He said I wasn't giving him enough attention, that I didn't sit in the middle of the truck next to him, I didn't hold his hand(he has arthritis in his hands). He wanted a teenage love affair with me giving him everything. What he didn't tell others is that he threw my hand down when I did reach out for it. He is trying to make excuses because he can't explain why he left a 28 year marriage with someone that basically was there all the time, I was a stay-at-home wife and mom for our entire marriage. I have a different situation with the kids, mine are 27 and 25 and have been a great support to me. My son has had no contact with his father for the whole time(he watched his father email the other woman) and my daughter has seen him twice in four months(he used her to set up the My Space page that my husband used to contact the Other Woman. Both times my daughter says that her father has forgotten important things, he has excuses for everything, and there are very large holes in "his stories".
He abandoned me, our children, our home, everything except his possessions left from his premarital days(I was glad to get rid of the stuff). He also destroyed the relationship with his parents and his children. I also believe in" until death do I part", and it will have to be his decision to file for divorce, but I do believe that he has already murdered our marriage by his selfish acts. And what your husband did is especially selfish. You need to take care of you. I have been told that younger children have an easier time adjusting with fewer scars than adult children to a missing parent. All you can do is make the most of each day for you and your child. Maybe keeping things as normal as possible and make each day special for your family and you. I have grown even closer to my children, but I think this abandonment and the pain that came with it, has pushed them both into staying single. They are both secure in their lives and are happy with who they are. What is sad is that they have treated this as the death of their Dad. The man that he has become is not the man that raised them and they called "Dad". They don't like who he has become and if he takes up with the woman that lives 1500 miles away, they want nothing to do with them. I have got a part-time job and am planning on attending college this fall part-time and taking care of me. There are no excuses or lies that can ever make what these spouses did right. I don't know how we can reconcil since I still don't have a clue as to what I ever did that was serious enough to send him running home to Mommy and Daddy. He never said a word until after he walked out. You can't fix or change things if you don't know what needs work.
