Replies to '03/02 Our Biggest Battle'

I know how Marcy feels when it comes to the feeling of "covering up".  I think some have misunderstood where she was coming from.  I have a  14 year old son who was 11 when my my husband and I started dating.  It is not a matter of my son not respecting my husband but more a matter of "rules rules rules".   Don't get me wrong.....my son knows that there are rules that he must follow.  Does he always do that?  No......as Dr. Phil says, "he is a teen" and I understand that.  My husband also came from a military background and was in the military himself for a few years.  Unlike Jeff on the show, my husband has a relationship with my son and they spend alot of time together doing fun stuff.  You cannot expect a teen to do everything the way you want things done, or to do them with enthusiasm at the drop of a hat.  Most of them are lazy to a point and I don't believe that they think of conseqences when they are debating on when to do something.  I think Jeff was extreme as my husband is at times.  I also think that Darcy was doing as Dr. Phil said......being selfish by letting them get away with things.  I too have done the same thing over the years.  I also have a daughter who is 22 who lives on her own.  After divorcing my first husband I felt I had to do things for my kids to make up for their father not being here.  Mistake!   

There has to be a happy middle ground when 2 adults are from totally different backgrounds when it comes to raising children.  It's easy to try going along with a stricter parent at the moment to keep the peace, but it's not right.  Making the step parent understand that  trying to be the primary disiplinarian will not work is whats hard!   

So, to Darcy and Jeff.......hang in there and work together!  To the kids......if Jeff is willing to change, give him a chance and hopefully you will have a happy family and a home that everyone is happy to spend time in!