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March 2, 2006, 2:01 pm PST
03/02 Our Biggest Battle
Quote From: allperkinsIt seems so "crazy" to me that anyone would take his side in this matter. Yes there is something to be said for respectfulness, but not at the expense of the kids feeling security in their home. A mothers job from the time a child is born is to raise that child to the best of her ability and protect him/her. Did it occur to you that maybe Jeff wants his wife to make a choice on who she loves more so therefore he is the one creating th turmoil. It is our job in life to raise the children of our future to be the best that they can be and you cannot do that without love and he does it with only rules and regulations. That is not love that is a boss. Dr. Phil said it perfectly a step parent has no right to step in and lay down rules in a home. Children wont respond to a step parents ground rules because they haven't done anything to prove themselves Worthy and they haven't earned the respect from the kids. In a child's mind they come first, they need to feel that their parent still loves them and they aren't about to be replaced by this new person that married mom or dad. A divorce is disruptive to a child's life in so many ways, it is confusing and stressful, the best thing a step parent can do is lead by example and help demonstrate a healthy marriage with their new spouse. A step parent's job is not to be the primary source of discipline, but that doesn't mean they should do nothing either, they can help a child along the way but it is crossing the line to punish them without approval of their parents, otherwise kids will only retaliate.
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