Message Boards
Replies to '06/23 "Stop Ruining Your Child!"'
|
March 3, 2006, 10:58 am PST
 Quote From: caina0304 i honestly dont know if i want to even get into this because i know that i'm going to offend someone and then ill have to hear..read..whatever about it and i dont want to get myself all riled up....but, i have 2 toddlers, my oldest will be 3 in june my youngest 2 in april. I know they're young ut i wont deal with any obsessive amount of crap from them. If i ask then to please hlep clean up their mess...they WILL help clean up their mess... If i ask you to please stop doing something, you WILL stop doing it.
i try my hardest to have patience with my children but sometimes when i am REALLY serious and they keep on acting up...they will recieve a spanking. When my oldest kept pushng my youngest down, into walls, into the chair....after 3 times of warnings and those little crappy time-outs..i told her ' i swear, if you push you're sister again, i WILL spank you' and she pushed her and i spanked her and I havent had that problem since...some new one will crop up i am sure.
However, when they do as they are asked, i do praise them and they might get a treat, or if its nice ill take them to the park which is right next to the house. i am there often....sometimes even ill give them a little money at the store if they are behaved so they can pick someting out for themselves. See, they have a thing for M&M's....
About the girl flicking the rubber bands...she rightly deserved that. She's 10. She's not stupid. She knows better. One can only put up with so much of a child's crap..ESPECIALLY when you cant stop it nicely, your husband thinks you making it up and refuses to take responsibility for his own child. Surprise, here's a rubber band for ya.
And the 12 year old boy who cant do anything for himself...Dang, my kids do waaaayyyy more than he does. When i was 12, my mom worked nights and my dad was lazy and if me and my 3 siblings wanted to eat.....someone was making something.....but them my mom knew better and we always had easy handy things to make.
But now, i want an opinion...the other day my oldest daughter had a bug in her butt and was a weenie...it was time for lunch and i said 'Please pick up your toys and ill make you your lunch'. She refused. I told her i could wait.... 2 hours later, she finally gave up. Came over and told me she picked up her toys, which i knew she did because i watched her and her sister pick them all up. So i thanked her and her sister and told them that next time, they should pick up their toys when i ask them too. She of course when "*sigh* ok, mom' and they ate. The next day, i asked her the same and they picked them right up.....
Now, i;m not starving my child or anything but she learned mighty quickly that she has to do as i asked to get what she wanted....she has a thing for peanut butter, ya know?
Your little ones will go far in life. To bad more parents don't teach there children that actions, good or bad, have consequences. Give them a hug and a kiss for
Misty |
|
|
March 3, 2006, 11:15 am PST
Quote From: caina0304 i honestly dont know if i want to even get into this because i know that i'm going to offend someone and then ill have to hear..read..whatever about it and i dont want to get myself all riled up....but, i have 2 toddlers, my oldest will be 3 in june my youngest 2 in april. I know they're young ut i wont deal with any obsessive amount of crap from them. If i ask then to please hlep clean up their mess...they WILL help clean up their mess... If i ask you to please stop doing something, you WILL stop doing it.
i try my hardest to have patience with my children but sometimes when i am REALLY serious and they keep on acting up...they will recieve a spanking. When my oldest kept pushng my youngest down, into walls, into the chair....after 3 times of warnings and those little crappy time-outs..i told her ' i swear, if you push you're sister again, i WILL spank you' and she pushed her and i spanked her and I havent had that problem since...some new one will crop up i am sure.
However, when they do as they are asked, i do praise them and they might get a treat, or if its nice ill take them to the park which is right next to the house. i am there often....sometimes even ill give them a little money at the store if they are behaved so they can pick someting out for themselves. See, they have a thing for M&M's....
About the girl flicking the rubber bands...she rightly deserved that. She's 10. She's not stupid. She knows better. One can only put up with so much of a child's crap..ESPECIALLY when you cant stop it nicely, your husband thinks you making it up and refuses to take responsibility for his own child. Surprise, here's a rubber band for ya.
And the 12 year old boy who cant do anything for himself...Dang, my kids do waaaayyyy more than he does. When i was 12, my mom worked nights and my dad was lazy and if me and my 3 siblings wanted to eat.....someone was making something.....but them my mom knew better and we always had easy handy things to make.
But now, i want an opinion...the other day my oldest daughter had a bug in her butt and was a weenie...it was time for lunch and i said 'Please pick up your toys and ill make you your lunch'. She refused. I told her i could wait.... 2 hours later, she finally gave up. Came over and told me she picked up her toys, which i knew she did because i watched her and her sister pick them all up. So i thanked her and her sister and told them that next time, they should pick up their toys when i ask them too. She of course when "*sigh* ok, mom' and they ate. The next day, i asked her the same and they picked them right up.....
Now, i;m not starving my child or anything but she learned mighty quickly that she has to do as i asked to get what she wanted....she has a thing for peanut butter, ya know?
I Have 2 children also 8 and 3 and find that if I'm not stern with them they walk all over me. I give them 3 chances to complete the task or a time limit and when the timer goes off it better be done or they have to face the consequences. My oldest is harder to manage because he throws fits and goes wild like this morning because he didn't want to get dressed for school, but now he's on restriction for a week. My husband came up with new punishment for when he lies to us. He makes him do 10 push ups or sit ups. I don't think it's mean because he has to learn that he can't lie EVER. Your kids will not starve if they miss a meal or have to wait to eat.
|
|
|
March 3, 2006, 12:44 pm PST
Quote From: caina0304 i honestly dont know if i want to even get into this because i know that i'm going to offend someone and then ill have to hear..read..whatever about it and i dont want to get myself all riled up....but, i have 2 toddlers, my oldest will be 3 in june my youngest 2 in april. I know they're young ut i wont deal with any obsessive amount of crap from them. If i ask then to please hlep clean up their mess...they WILL help clean up their mess... If i ask you to please stop doing something, you WILL stop doing it.
i try my hardest to have patience with my children but sometimes when i am REALLY serious and they keep on acting up...they will recieve a spanking. When my oldest kept pushng my youngest down, into walls, into the chair....after 3 times of warnings and those little crappy time-outs..i told her ' i swear, if you push you're sister again, i WILL spank you' and she pushed her and i spanked her and I havent had that problem since...some new one will crop up i am sure.
However, when they do as they are asked, i do praise them and they might get a treat, or if its nice ill take them to the park which is right next to the house. i am there often....sometimes even ill give them a little money at the store if they are behaved so they can pick someting out for themselves. See, they have a thing for M&M's....
About the girl flicking the rubber bands...she rightly deserved that. She's 10. She's not stupid. She knows better. One can only put up with so much of a child's crap..ESPECIALLY when you cant stop it nicely, your husband thinks you making it up and refuses to take responsibility for his own child. Surprise, here's a rubber band for ya.
And the 12 year old boy who cant do anything for himself...Dang, my kids do waaaayyyy more than he does. When i was 12, my mom worked nights and my dad was lazy and if me and my 3 siblings wanted to eat.....someone was making something.....but them my mom knew better and we always had easy handy things to make.
But now, i want an opinion...the other day my oldest daughter had a bug in her butt and was a weenie...it was time for lunch and i said 'Please pick up your toys and ill make you your lunch'. She refused. I told her i could wait.... 2 hours later, she finally gave up. Came over and told me she picked up her toys, which i knew she did because i watched her and her sister pick them all up. So i thanked her and her sister and told them that next time, they should pick up their toys when i ask them too. She of course when "*sigh* ok, mom' and they ate. The next day, i asked her the same and they picked them right up.....
Now, i;m not starving my child or anything but she learned mighty quickly that she has to do as i asked to get what she wanted....she has a thing for peanut butter, ya know?
I don't think that's the only way. Like you said in your own message, it's about when you lose patience that you spank them. After my mother left my abusive father, she did not spank any of us. Her kids are all college graduations, none of us were juvenile delinquents. We're all contributing members of society. We all write thank you notes and say "please, thank you," and help strangers and loved ones. You don't have to spank your kids to teach them the right way to live. No one has to have children- they are a gift from God. And I'm not some childless lady saying this- I'm a mom and my daughter's entering into the terrible twos, and i do understand losing patience and wanting to spank a child. But that's not about teaching a kid, that's about wanting to exert control over another person. That's my problem and I don't have a right to make it my child's. The other day, she threw a fit, in a public place, and I was mortified. Part of me wanted to yank her up and spank her and run out of there. However, that doesn't teach her anything. I told her she couldn't act like that, started to walk away, she picked herself up, and came over to me for a hug. Then she told me that she wanted a snack. (Which is probably why she was short-tempered in the first place- and I think that parents do a lot of that- have kids hungry or tired and expect them to do way too much without remembering that they lack adult capacity). It just doesn't have to be that way. Don't get me wrong, I know people whose parents spanked them and were still loving parents. But the happiest, most successful adults, in the happiest marriages that I know all came from households without violence. I'll also add that I was a domestic violence prosecutor and worked with about 1000 offenders and not one of them wasn't spanked as a child, and none of the victims came from non-spanking households either. |
|
Return to the Message Board
