Replies to 'Depression'

Thank you for your reply and concern.  I have had a lot of bloodwork done over the past several years.  I know a couple of times recently.  Also they have tested me from everything like Lyme Disease, Thyroid Problems, etc.  It is time for a more thourough check up though. And the funny thing is that I crace sweets so terribley bad.  It's like I cannot function without them. 

Now the suicide thoughts have been going on for over 15 years; I am 45 now.  I had ECT several years ago which fried my memory at the time. It was a horrible experience.  I have been taking numerous medications for pain, anxiety, etc for a while and my organ functions need to be checked. It's been a little over a year.  

THe one med that does tend to help with the depressive symptoms is the Neurontion. But the drawback is that I have to keep pumping it into my system by taking these pills every four to six hours per day, if not, or if I run out, it's devestating.  Plus the fact that it doesn't always work. 

Thanks for your prayers and support. 

Maybe this is out of line, I'm not sure, but in your prayers I need  a vehicle that doesn't break down almost everyday.  It's almost totally destroyed and embarrasing to drive, and the transmission is shot.  It just breaks down frequently. 

Also I do need to change jobs.  I decided to lay the groundwork for a major battle against my employer for when I return to work in about a week or two.  I work for a multi-billion dollar corporation out of France, which happens to be the largest business of it's kind in the world.  I finally mustard the courage to write to the Ceo / VP in France just before I went on medical leave.  I have file numerous complaints in the states to no avail. 

What my supervisor has been doing to me for the past few years is being a bulley.  The reason he has gotton by with it is because I have been too sick to fight.  But after I recover from the surgery, I am fighting will all I have. 

Thanks again