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Replies to 'Differing Sex Drives'
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March 7, 2006, 8:39 pm PST
 Quote From: newtoitall Wow, never thought I'd be asking this question but my husband is far too tame in the bedroom. He can step up and take charge every where else in our lives but trying to get him to "take me" is not going to happen. I made the mistake in the beginning of being quite the sex kitten and taking charge in the bedroom. I've been in three other serious relationships and this is always how they start out, me taking charge and being in control. I figure I do it to maintain some solid footing (or mutual ground?) in the early stages of a relationship. The thing is, once I get to know someone and trust them, I step aside and let them have control of sex. I perfer it... well, need it really. I let them know what I like or need (in subtle manners) but I want them to take control or at least, be equal. My husband and I became pregnant with our son just 9 months after we started dating and, we had time apart during those nine months (due to work) so after our son was born, when we tried to get on track again, we realized that things were way our of sync. I've tried several times, each time escalating with more specific conversation, to tell him what I need but to no avail. He's constantly looking to me for guidance in the bedroom, performing akwardly and asking a lot of questions. I am sure to let him know when he's doing things right, I try to share fantasies with him ( I tried to get him to share with me but he balked at the question and then explained later that an ex-girlfriend in highschool made fun of him when he divulged his fantasies to her) but I'm not having any luck. His sexual needs are really quite basic and not at all adventurous which is just now me. I've always had an exciting sex life and I'm not sure how to fire this up with my husband. To be honest, you need to make him feel comfortable. It seems to me that he may have insecurities when it comes to performing in bed. Does he have to have sex with the lights OFF? Could it be that he is not comfortable with his body, and therefore he does not want to share it with you? Do you worship his manhood, and tell him it's the most beautiful thing you have ever seen? Treat it like a God. Tell him you love his body, and kiss him from head to toe... using your lips and tongue. Then, whip out a can of Reddi-Whip, Hershey's Syrup, and Marachino Cherries, and make a "banana-split" out of his banana. He will watch you play, get excited, and watch you eat and lick him off, and it will bring him to ecstacy. That is what you want! Make him so self-confident that he will want to have sex anywhere, and anytime you want to. Be creative in bed, and the rewards will never end. Good luck! |
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