Replies to '08/01 Extreme Highs and Lows'

I agree with this Mom.  My son is 32 & fortunately able to live on his own.  Although he can not or will not try to hold a job.  He has been taking Lamictal for about 12 years with good results, he also takes a low dose of Zyprexa to help with his difficulty with abstract reasoning.  He is also diagnosed as Learining Disabled, not retarded, but he had a lot of trouble with language arts etc. when in school. 

He has decided years ago that I am his TARGET.  I often find myself being attacked verbally by him for things that I have no control over.  He receives SSI & SSDI I am his representative payee & have to pay his bills out of these checks.  I can not pay his bills when he runs them up too high, such as having the heat set at 80 & then getting a $200.- utility bill.  He gets a small amount each month & reasoning with him is out of the question.  He feels as though I should proivede every luxury that he wants & pay for it out of my pocket.  He has taken my debit card & upgraded his cable & internet srvice all unbeknowst to me untill I saw my bank statement. 

Like this MOm I have helped him a lot.  I probably enabled him to take advantage of me & I am now putting the brakes on.  I would like some THANKS MOM. also.  He is taking medicine but is not in therapy.  Anger management was suggested.....since I'm the only one he's angry with he doesn't see the need.  I love my so dearly & hope b y my taking a tough love stand he will be able to realize hpw his actions affect others now. 

I won't be around always.  I have Bipolar 2 & Emphysema & Diabetes.  I need to care for myself & my husban d also.  For me it's time I learn how to take care of myself & my needs. 

As long as you keep giving to her and taking her abuse she will keep doing it.  Why should she stop?  As the good dr says, you teach people how to treat you.   I believe the meds don't work much if you don't work much.   Please let her take responsibility for herself and her child.  Of course you need to protect the child but your daughter is an adult.  It sounds like she is getting more from being sick than being responsible.  If she is still taking to her bed for weeks at a time she probably needs different meds.  Don't buy her anything.  Figure a way to see the child is ok without giving money etc to your daughter.  She can continue to be sick and irresponsible as long as you are taking care of her life.  Do something for yourself.  Don't let her disrespect you ever.   If you continue to provide her she will never get better.  Get some help for yourself.  You are I mom and I understand why you are "helping"  her but I think you are actually doing more harm than good.  It may get a lot worse before it gets better but you cannot change her, you can only change your reaction to her.  Be well