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Replies to 'Bipolar Disorder'
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March 7, 2006, 6:08 pm PST
 Quote From: bipolarnut  Im so sick of being bipolar. one sec im jumping up and down on the couch and bed..the next im wanting to hit someone or break something and my mind is racing and feel like im going crazy. i cant explain it. i cant get outside. i dont have any energy. i would rather be alone than have someone here that i would jump on as soon as i get into one of my moods. and the rapid cycling?? oh my goodness. i cant deal with it. im up for 2, 3, maybe 4 days at a time then i sleep for maybe 20 minutes then feel like im able to stay up for a week without sleep. i get hypersexual on a high and im scared now that i may have an std or something. i used to lie to myself and tell myself that i was drunk when id get like that. but i wasnt drunk. now that ive been diagnosed i know what it was. and im afraid. i live in fear everyday. i think someone always has it in for me. i dont answer the door at my house because im afraid its someone coming after me. if i get out of the house once every month im doing good. i dont see doctors anymore because when i went on leave of absence from my job my insurace went into cobra and thats almost $700.00 a month and i cant afford that. how am i suppose to when i dont have any income coming in? anyone else have the same problems? lets talk. maybe we can help each other. i thought the show today was good. I wish Dr. Phil would have more of them on Bipolar. Its one of the most misunderstood disorders. i cant get those around me to understand it. when im talking about it it just sounds like im making excuses for my bad behavior. i hate my life.If you have nothing else in you life you have one small bit of happiness and it's that beautiful cat that your photo shows. Alot of my aquaintances think I am wierd because I love animals so much especially cats. They have a tendancy to call me the cat lady, or tell me I'll be the old lady with 1000 cats everyone thinks is wierd. But I don't care. My cats are the only part of my life (next to close family and friends) that don't judge or have an opinion. They just love unconditionally, and not to sound like a kook, but they are great listeners. When my whole life seems to go to the pot, I have my babies, my cats, who are always there after a bad day to sit and purr and cuddle with me and especially love me. It's not really advice, but my cats are my soft place to land. They're always happy and I like happy. Just something to try on your sad and lonely days. logan Lyle, hoppy, grace, KiKI (the cats) |
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