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Replies to 'Spanking: Useful or Cruel?'

 
ckittykat
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July 25, 2005, 7:50 pm PDT

Yep

Quote From: poetmom

Spanking isn't an option for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to get the same results without ever having to put a hand on your child in that way. Mine are 19, 15 and 12, and I have never had to spank any of them....and yet they consistently have gotten compliments on their behavior, both with me and away from me. They learned self-control and self-policing at a very early age through having things explained to them, and that seemed to be what worked best with their personalities and temperaments. They didn't take well to just being told that something wasn't allowed...they wanted to know what could happen to them if they did it, or why I thought it wasn't a good idea, and things like that. Then, once they processed the reasoning behind the rule, they had no problem complying. They still, as teens, prefer to discuss and understand rules rather than just have them given to them, and that still results in few, if any, breakage of rules, so we stick with it. :)

Teresa
Gentle Christian Mothers - Index

I completely agree, although I would not use a switch but I do spank with a small paddle.
 
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ckittykat
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July 25, 2005, 7:52 pm PDT

Sorry

Quote From: poetmom

Spanking isn't an option for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to get the same results without ever having to put a hand on your child in that way. Mine are 19, 15 and 12, and I have never had to spank any of them....and yet they consistently have gotten compliments on their behavior, both with me and away from me. They learned self-control and self-policing at a very early age through having things explained to them, and that seemed to be what worked best with their personalities and temperaments. They didn't take well to just being told that something wasn't allowed...they wanted to know what could happen to them if they did it, or why I thought it wasn't a good idea, and things like that. Then, once they processed the reasoning behind the rule, they had no problem complying. They still, as teens, prefer to discuss and understand rules rather than just have them given to them, and that still results in few, if any, breakage of rules, so we stick with it. :)

Teresa
Gentle Christian Mothers - Index

Replied to the wrong message.
 
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jennife72
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December 30, 2005, 7:42 am PST

hi

Quote From: poetmom

Spanking isn't an option for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to get the same results without ever having to put a hand on your child in that way. Mine are 19, 15 and 12, and I have never had to spank any of them....and yet they consistently have gotten compliments on their behavior, both with me and away from me. They learned self-control and self-policing at a very early age through having things explained to them, and that seemed to be what worked best with their personalities and temperaments. They didn't take well to just being told that something wasn't allowed...they wanted to know what could happen to them if they did it, or why I thought it wasn't a good idea, and things like that. Then, once they processed the reasoning behind the rule, they had no problem complying. They still, as teens, prefer to discuss and understand rules rather than just have them given to them, and that still results in few, if any, breakage of rules, so we stick with it.  :)

 

Teresa
Gentle Christian Mothers - Index

well good to hear your kids are angels  

some of us are not in that boat 

i have tried all sorts of things but my son although he is a good kid  

he has his moments where i am thinking i am a bad mother in some way  

i have spanked him not on a regular basis  

and i have popped him in the mouth 

i am going to try something i heard from someone on here about getting poker chips and using them as rewards 

when my son gets enough then he will get a reward 

if not then they will be taken away and he will get nothing 

how does that sound? 

  
 
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terryh67

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April 3, 2008, 2:17 pm PDT

Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

Quote From: poetmom

Spanking isn't an option for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to get the same results without ever having to put a hand on your child in that way. Mine are 19, 15 and 12, and I have never had to spank any of them....and yet they consistently have gotten compliments on their behavior, both with me and away from me. They learned self-control and self-policing at a very early age through having things explained to them, and that seemed to be what worked best with their personalities and temperaments. They didn't take well to just being told that something wasn't allowed...they wanted to know what could happen to them if they did it, or why I thought it wasn't a good idea, and things like that. Then, once they processed the reasoning behind the rule, they had no problem complying. They still, as teens, prefer to discuss and understand rules rather than just have them given to them, and that still results in few, if any, breakage of rules, so we stick with it.  :)

 

Teresa
Gentle Christian Mothers - Index

When those of us who did spank i child we also speak to them and explain why what they did was wrong and what could happen and what consequences would follow if that continued that behavior.  also, I don't think a child should be spanked much beyond five. Not all people who spank follow that and what they are probably doing is beating their child and if not there will still be the problem of only knowing they got spanked and not why.  I'm glad you raised 3 without every spanking,  you derserve much praise.  But I found it a little hard to reason with a 2year and 3year old not at 4 reasoning worked better with one of my children but not my boy. My children follow my rules because they know there are consequences.  But then again, I always told them there are three major rules:

1. Don't lie

2. Don't steal

3. Don't disrespect people

the rest could always be worked out.  There has been too many of "the rest"  because most things are covered in the 3 major rules.
 
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tiabrot
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May 17, 2008, 11:24 am PDT

spanking

Quote From: poetmom

Spanking isn't an option for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to get the same results without ever having to put a hand on your child in that way. Mine are 19, 15 and 12, and I have never had to spank any of them....and yet they consistently have gotten compliments on their behavior, both with me and away from me. They learned self-control and self-policing at a very early age through having things explained to them, and that seemed to be what worked best with their personalities and temperaments. They didn't take well to just being told that something wasn't allowed...they wanted to know what could happen to them if they did it, or why I thought it wasn't a good idea, and things like that. Then, once they processed the reasoning behind the rule, they had no problem complying. They still, as teens, prefer to discuss and understand rules rather than just have them given to them, and that still results in few, if any, breakage of rules, so we stick with it.  :)

 

Teresa
Gentle Christian Mothers - Index

   sometime a small swat on the rear with hand, if you are not angry may help. My son was the only thing he understood. I don't think you should spank when you are angry,and not if talking like my daughter works better.
 
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