Replies to '08/01 Extreme Highs and Lows'

hey there -  

I just want to say that I am really sorry for what you have been through with your father.  My husband was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder.  As with most bipolar cases, he has gone 10+ years of periodic relief with anti-depressants, only to sink lower the next bout of depression.  There is nothing worse in this life than having to watch someone you love suffer these symptoms and know you can't say a thing to make them feel better.  I know I am very lucky because he is a GREAT man and wants so badly to feel "like himself" again.  With his illness, he is only hateful and mean to himself, so I can't relate to what you have gone through.  I have been doing a lot of research on bipolar though and it seems that, as with anything in life, there are those who choose to play the victim and use their illness to manipulate others and excuse bad behavior.    I don't know your father and I am not an expert on bipolar, but it sounds like he has certainly done that to some extent.   

One very important thing about being a family member of someone with bipolar is that we have to take care of ourselves too.  I want to encourage you (if you have not done so already) to seek some professional help and support.    I know there are organizations that offer help for family members.  Maybe check out www.nami.org or www.dbsalliance.org to see what they offer in your area.  www.healthyplace.com also has some great info for family - in the bipolar community, click support.  Bipolar is a horrible and debilitating illness, but that doesn't mean that you have to put up with abuse from your father.  You have the right to set boundries and to have realistic expectations in any relationship!  And if other members of your family choose to stay and put up with his manipulation, then that's their choice.  I wish you the very best!   

hey there -  

I just want to say that I am really sorry for what you have been through with your father.  My husband was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder.  As with most bipolar cases, he has gone 10+ years of periodic relief with anti-depressants, only to sink lower the next bout of depression.  There is nothing worse in this life than having to watch someone you love suffer these symptoms and know you can't say a thing to make them feel better.  I know I am very lucky because he is a GREAT man and wants so badly to feel "like himself" again.  With his illness, he is only hateful and mean to himself, so I can't relate to what you have gone through.  I have been doing a lot of research on bipolar though and it seems that, as with anything in life, there are those who choose to play the victim and use their illness to manipulate others and excuse bad behavior.    I don't know your father and I am not an expert on bipolar, but it sounds like he has certainly done that to some extent.   

One very important thing about being a family member of someone with bipolar is that we have to take care of ourselves too.  I want to encourage you (if you have not done so already) to seek some professional help and support.    I know there are organizations that offer help for family members.  Maybe check out www.nami.org or www.dbsalliance.org to see what they offer in your area.  www.healthyplace.com also has some great info for family - in the bipolar community, click support.  Bipolar is a horrible and debilitating illness, but that doesn't mean that you have to put up with abuse from your father.  You have the right to set boundries and to have realistic expectations in any relationship!  And if other members of your family choose to stay and put up with his manipulation, then that's their choice.  I wish you the very best!