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Replies to 'Teen Dating'
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August 19, 2005, 10:53 am PDT
 Quote From: chumusgirl Well hello all!!! Right now I am so flabbergasted by my 12 year old son. He is in the process of moving with his dad for the first time in his life. Actually, let me start here first... when his father and I became parents we were only 15 years old. :O But today I talked to my son on the phone and plan to see him tomorrow at a group activity with a day at the waterslides. But just before I was going to hang up the phone he said mom there's something I want to tell you... "AND I WAS LIKE OH NO... WHAT COULD IT BE”.... and he told me well I want to tell you now because you’re probably going to hear about it from someone else! So, I was like son what is it? I want you to tell me... I don’t want to hear about it from someone else? And so he says "MOM, I AM GOING OUT WITH A GIRL FROM ___________, AND SHE IS GOING TO BE AT THE WATERSLIDES TOMORROW!!!!" And I was just in shock. I did tell him that I thought he may be too young to have a girlfriend, and that I wished that I had someone there to tell me that I was too young to do what I was doing. But I do wish that I had someone there to tell me the things in life in which I needed to know about boys, sex, and etc… This is no excuse to allow him to continue with having a girlfriend, but he is very mature for his age. I did tell him that we have to talk about it with his dad. I read some of the other entries and maybe I will tell him that he can see this girl, but only when there are group activities going on. That he is too young to be seeing her alone. When his dad and I were young we were allowed to go into his bedroom without anyone else. My son has already gone through puberty. What can I tell my son when the time comes to sit down with him, and his dad?
It sounds as though you have regrets, and you want your son to do things different then you and his father did. Thats a good thing to share with him. I agree with your suggestion for him to be with this girl he likes only in group activities. My 14 year old daughter has a boyfriend, and we allow him to come over, they watch movies together and play games, but the rules are that the doors are not to be closed, EVER, and he can only come over if me or my husband is home. The boyfriend's mother also has this rule at her house, so I feel comfortable allowing my daughter to go to his home, because she feels exactly the same way we do. I feel that as long as you communicate clearly with your children exactly what you expect from them, then they have clear guidlines. My mother never talked to me about sex, drugs, etc., and that led me to experiment for myself. I wish I had more rules and guidance when I was a teen. I also stress to my daughter that my intent isn't to prevent her from having fun in life, but I always have her health and safety first on my mind. I don't want to deny her any life experiences, I only want her to be safe and make the right choices for herself. |
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