Quote From: lbhat67 I only know from my experiences. I love my husband with my entire being. I respect and admire him. I have been bipolar since I was 12. I am now 39. I have had many affairs. Do I try to hurt my husband on purpose? Absolutely not! Do I care if I "catch" something? Not at the time of the indiscretion.
I care about how that person makes me feel just at that moment. There are no fears of unpleasant consequences, reckless enthusiams takes over. I have no conscience about it. I hate that. I have lied for years. I continue to lie. I can't hurt him like this. He only knows about 2 of my affairs (one in '95 in which I became pregnant and one in '97 in which I became pregnant).
I would like to recommend a book or at least take a quote from the book, "Bipolar Disorder-A Guide for Patients and Families" by Francis Mark Mondimore, M.D.
Here is a quote... "The feelings of exuberance and overconfidence that characterize mania can lead to several pattens of behavior typical of the manic state: spending sprees, sexual promiscuity, and overuse of alcohol and other intoxicating substances....Increased sexual feelings can lead to affairs or promiscuity, actions that can be life-threatening."
I am sorry for what I have done. If I could change it I would. I can't. I just want to feel normal again.
lbhat
I MYSELF AM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS STORY - MY HUSBAND WAS ACTUALLY DIAGNOSESD WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER ALONG WITH A COUPLE OF OTHER THINGS! WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED NOW FOR 13 YEARS - MISERABLE YEARS! I NEW SOMETHING WASNT RIGHT EARLY ON, BUT WASNT SURE WHAT, BUT BY THE TIME I FIGURED IT OUT AND TRIED TO GET OUT, I ENDED UP PREGNANT, SO NOT HAVING A FATHER AROUND I MARRIED HIM TO TRY TO HAVE A FAMILY WITH OUR SON! THERE WASNT A YEAR THAT WENT BY THAT I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE AND WOULD TELL MY SELF, AFTER THE HOLIDAY , OKAY AFTER TBALL , AND SO ON AND SO ON UNTIL IT IS 13 YEARS LATER WITH ANOTHER CHILD. WE HAVE GAINED NOTHING OVER THE YEARS BECAUSE OF HIS ILLNESS, THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT SPENDING SPREES, THE SEXUAL PROMISCUITY, ETC. A FEW YEARS IN I TOLD HIM TO SEE A DR OR I WAS LEAVING BECAUSE I HAD READ SOMETHING ABOUT THIS DIDORDER AND HE EVERY SYMPTOM - SO HE HAS BEEN ON ZOLOFT FOR SEVERAL YEARS UNTIL HE HAD A TOTAL BREAKDOWN 2 YEARS AGO - PRIOR TO THAT HE WAS ABLE TO HOLD DOWN A JOB WITH THE POSTAL SERVICE FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS. BUT IF I HAD LEFT HE WOULD HAVE QUIT WITHOUT EVEN THINKING TWICE ABOUT IT'! I STRONGLY BELIEVE HE WANTS HIS FAMILY TOGETHER AND CANT STAND THE THOUGHT OF NOT HAVING IT, BUT I ALSO BELIEVE HE HONESTLY BACK THEN BELIEVED WHAT EVER HE TOLD HIMSELF AT THE TIME ! ALTHOUGH HE HAS NOT CHEATED ON IN OVER 4 YEARS I AQUIRED A HERPES FROM HIM LAST YEAR! SINCE HE HAD HIS BREAKDOWN OVER 2 YRS AGO, HE IS CURRENLY ON RETIREMENT DISABILITY FROM THE POST OFFICE AND SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY! HE HAS NOT HARDLY LEFT THE HOUSE - I CANT GET HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE - HE HAS NEVER HAD ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH A FRIEND, BUT WHEN HE DOES FIND SOMEONE - IT IS OVER WITH IN A FEW WEEKS - I FEEL LIKE HE HAS NOBODY, HIS DAD IS AN ALCHOLIC AND HIS MOTHER IS IN DENIAL AND VERY NEGATIVE AS HE IS. I HAVE HIM SITUATED TO GO OUT ON HIS OWN I JUST CANT GET HIM TO THERAPY! I GOT HIM A BOAT, FOUR WHEELER - HIS TRUCK AND I JUST WANT OUT - OUR 13 YR OLD I PRAY DONT HAVE BP, BUT HE IS ACTING SO MUCH LIKE HIM - I HAVE TO SAVE HIM - THAT LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE THIS - I WANT HIM TO KNOW WHAT A RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT! MY SON CANT HARDLY STAND HIM BUT HE DOESNT WANT ME TO LEAVE! I FEEL LIKE I HAVE RAISED ANOTHER KID AND IT IS TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON! I AM NOW GOING TO NURSING SCHOOL AND PREPARING TO TAKE CARE OF ME AND MY KIDS, BUT HE CANT FACE IT OR DOESNT WANT TO! NOW I WOULD LIKE FOR HIM TO FIND SOMEONE!
JUST A NOTE EVERY TIME HE CHEATED HE HAD TOLD THEM A DIFFERENT STORY - BUT HE ALWAYS WANTED TO STAY AND THREATENED TO KILL HIMSELF AND HE IS ONE TO INVOLVE THE KIDS WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT THEM - AND I TRY SO HARD TO PROTECT THEM, I GUESS I FELT LIKE IF I STAYED I COULD PROTECT THEM BETTER THAN HAVING TO LET HIM HAVE THEM BY HIMSELF. AND THEN AGAIN I KNEW IF HE HAD TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS CHILDREN HE WOULDNT AND I DIDNT WANT MY KIDS TO FEEL LIKE I DID ABOUT MY DAD! ANYWAY, I GUESS IM JUST SAYING ALTHOUGH SOME THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW, IF I HAD IT TO DO OVER I WOULD LET HIM SELF DESTRUCT AND LEFT AT THE FIRST SIGNS! SORRY! THAT IS JUST ME! I KNOW EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT! GOD BLESS AND GOOD LUCK!
