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Replies to 'Differing Sex Drives'
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March 9, 2006, 6:01 am PST
 Quote From: hmeetis I have been married since October 13th. We lived together before then also of course. Now when i first started dateing her she said she wanted to wait untill marridge. Unusual now days but very cool in my book (btw i am 28 she is 25). I will be her first if it ever happens before i get so fed up and get a annulment. I was nowhere near being a virgin before i met her I got very used to haveing sex on a regular basis I normally would have sex with my significant other between 4and 7 times a week or more even depending on what our work scheduals were like. This total lack of sex is driving me absolutly crazy. I have a semi normal schedual even tho i am in the Coast Guard I normally get home at about 4pm but i like to go to sleep at about 8 or 9 because i wake up at 430am. She does not work and has a very odd sleep schedual. She normally does not go to bed untill 11pm or later and sometimes only wakes up when i get home from work. I sometimes wonder if she intentionally has a totally different schedual just so that she does not have to try to resist me or talk to me. I have put my feelings in writing i have talked to her I have full health care I have tryed to talk her into getting help. She does not want to discuss it she does not want to see a doctor and she refuses marridge counciling. It is extremly fusterating for me. I have tryed every romantic trick in the book i could remember. I have done the cooking the laundry taken her out to quiet romantic resteraunts nice hotel room short vacation to florida. It is seriously becomeing such a problem for me i am considering finding a place for her to live so i can get an annulment. I am a patient man and i care about her a lot but she is refusing all the help that i have suggested I just don't know what to do from here. She is even difficult to talk to on this issue. Hi First off, I am near your wife's age (26 not married but engaged also divorced) so maybe I can be of some help. It is only my opinion though so take as you will. When I first read this I thought maybe she is afraid to have sex with you. Fear of the unknown maybe? I am sure there is some explanation to this but then there are the other BIGGER issues. She doesn’t talk to you well or much at all. How did you communicate before you got married? You mentioned that your work schedule and her schedule don’t conflict or at least shouldn't since she doesn’t work out side the home. Communication between you and her seem to be the larger issue to me. Has she said anything in the way of why you cannot be intimate with her? Sounds like you have defiantly tried many things IE dinner vacation helping her with house work and ECT. You mentioned that you wrote your feelings down I assume a letter to her? Maybe you might need to take a softer approach to this issue with her. She might have the fear of the unknown or the fear of getting pregnant right away. Have you mentioned the what if’s of having children once you do have sex? Those fears maybe something that she doesn’t know how to bring up to you. They also maybe something that she doesn’t want to talk about, for the fear of hurting your feelings. Like I said I don’t know exactly the details to why but those would be my first guesses at it. Maybe you could provide more details to the situation and others can respond. What did you do for your honeymoon? Usually on the honeymoon is when couples engage in sex for the first time in your situation. These are only my thoughts so take them as you would like but I hope they have provided you some type of insight to why or ways you can go about talking to her in a gentler way.
Dee P.S. Thanks for your service for OUR COUNTRY! |
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March 9, 2006, 8:47 am PST
Quote From: hmeetis I have been married since October 13th. We lived together before then also of course. Now when i first started dateing her she said she wanted to wait untill marridge. Unusual now days but very cool in my book (btw i am 28 she is 25). I will be her first if it ever happens before i get so fed up and get a annulment. I was nowhere near being a virgin before i met her I got very used to haveing sex on a regular basis I normally would have sex with my significant other between 4and 7 times a week or more even depending on what our work scheduals were like. This total lack of sex is driving me absolutly crazy. I have a semi normal schedual even tho i am in the Coast Guard I normally get home at about 4pm but i like to go to sleep at about 8 or 9 because i wake up at 430am. She does not work and has a very odd sleep schedual. She normally does not go to bed untill 11pm or later and sometimes only wakes up when i get home from work. I sometimes wonder if she intentionally has a totally different schedual just so that she does not have to try to resist me or talk to me. I have put my feelings in writing i have talked to her I have full health care I have tryed to talk her into getting help. She does not want to discuss it she does not want to see a doctor and she refuses marridge counciling. It is extremly fusterating for me. I have tryed every romantic trick in the book i could remember. I have done the cooking the laundry taken her out to quiet romantic resteraunts nice hotel room short vacation to florida. It is seriously becomeing such a problem for me i am considering finding a place for her to live so i can get an annulment. I am a patient man and i care about her a lot but she is refusing all the help that i have suggested I just don't know what to do from here. She is even difficult to talk to on this issue. w o w what caught my eye was sometimes she sleeps until you come home? even if she goes to bed after 11pm is shes sleeping until 4pm something is wrong yall have not had sex once? so yall dont have kids if youve not had sex- why isnt she working?
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