Replies to 'Bipolar Disorder'

I would just like to give others some hope. 

I developed bipolar diorder 12 1/2 years ago at the age of 42. I was diagnosed with a serious form, bipolar one, mixed, with psychosis. I found it hard to accept at first, but joined DBSA, a peer-run support group, educated myself about the illness, got a good therapist, an excellent psychiatrist who would work with me (not all of them do), and took my medications religiously. Through my own research, I found out that lithium , which I was on, was not the best mood stabilizer for mixed episodes. I now take Trileptal, Effexor, clonazepam, and Abilify (only 2mg), and I have been in remission for almost three years. 

The 9 + years before that were a series of mania, hypomania, and deep depressions. However I did manage to start college, and get a degree during this time. My husband and I almost split up 3 times. Everytime I was manic, I would want a divorce, then when I was in depression, I would want him back. It was hell for him and the family, and especially for me. I cannot begin to describe the amount of suffering one goes through. No one who has not experienced it can begin to comprehend the emotional or psychic pain a person with bipolar disorder can have. 

After being on the new medication, Trileptal, which I had researched and asked to be put on, 

I have felt peace for the past 2 1/2 years. Everyone has a different reaction to drugs, but if one does not work well, ask to try another. 

I would like to tell others that there is hope...don't give up. Keep advocating for yourself, take the best care of yourself you can, and ask for help when you need it. 

I would also like to state my own personal opinion of the show on bipolar. I didn't find it to be an accurate picture of the illness...the highs and the lows...the pain of depression and possible suicidal ideation. Also there is the embarrasment one feels and has to live with after doing things when manic that you would never do otherwise. I hurt my husband very much, and am so thankful that he is educated about the illness also, and is able to forgive me. Without him, I don't know what would have happened to me. 

I wish that another show would be done on bipolar, with a more accurate picture given, and also someone who has been ill, but is now in remission....to give others hope, as they did with the show on schizophrenia. I'm an advocate for those with bipolar disorder, have been a support group facilitator, and I view this show as having once again caused more stigma for those with our illness.