Replies to '08/01 Extreme Highs and Lows'

I am sorry to hear about your ex husband.  I have never had to deal with a family member's mental health so I can't say I truly understand what you have/are going through.  However, I certainly have compassion for you and your children.  I am going to toss two ideas around and you decide if either fits.  Perhaps one or the other might give you a new perspective as to why your ex husband, and his family, won't comply with the neccessary therapy he needs. 

Was your ex husband raised by a family that believes mental illness occures in another's family, but never theirs?  Do they act like ostriches - their comfort zone is having their heads in the sand.  What they don't see does not exist.  Or, are they quite religious? 

I have known Bipolars that did not get support from their families.  Their illness's were not accepted  

by their families.  It was as if they were viewed as being defective.  Their parents would have prefered a brain tumour diagnosis over Bipolar Disorder. 

The other idea I came up with was involving religion.  You would be amazed how many people I have known that stop taking their meds because they or their family said God would not approve. They believe that God will save them and make them healthy.  Think of Tom Cruise and his attitude toward psychiatry and Scientology.  If your ex husband was raised in an environment that held any of the views mentioned, he will not be encouraged to seek proper therapy.  When I am not well, I can sink deep into a depression or high into mania.  I know I am not well, but there is something seductive about losing control.  I go to my psych and he can see instantly that I need help.  Your ex husband needs someone in his family to get him to a doctor for help.  Would having a heart to heart with them/him and discussing my idea(s) help? 

With the right meds, a Bipolar can live a good life.  I compare Bipolar to having arthritis or cardiac problems.  I have limitations, and I am not as successful as I could have been.  However, I live independently, and within my means. I consider myself retired, so I pursue hobbies now instead of the corporate ladder.  

A lot of the medications have side affects.  Some are quite tolerable while others are awful.  Sometimes impotence can occure, so men quite the meds right away.  Some meds cause excessive hunger.  It is a struggle not to put on weight.  I have put on 30+ pounds.  I hate buying plus size clothes, and being rejected by men.  But what is the alternative?  Dr Phil never talked about side affects and why people go off of medication.  This could be a show in itself. 

You mentioned the word "force".  In Canada, a person can be admitted to hospital for up to 72 hours if 1) He is a threat to another - such as verbal threats or physically assault  2) he is a threat to himself - such as suicide attempt  3) he is incapable of taking care of himself and the neglect is causing him harm - such as an anorexic person or an elderly person with Alzheimers.  This is where medicine can conflict with the legal system.  The admitting physician must truly believe the individual needs to be in the hospital because it is similar to arresting someone and keeping them in a holding cell for 3 days.   I mentioned in an earlier email that if an individual is 16 or older, no matter how much the family/spouse wants info, they can not receive it unless the patient gives consent.  I have heard that some states will give info to families without patient consent. 

I have written a lot of information.  I hope it helps you.  I check the message board occaisionally.  If you would like to share any more thoughts, I'll get back to you.   c_y_wallac