Replies to 'Bipolar Disorder'

Hi  

I told him several years I thought he had a problem...but he declared he didn't have the problem...I did.  I think we all know what that's about...know we have a mental health issue and then it's all us.  But, I was in counseling...my counselor asked my husband to join us.  He didn't know she was sizing him up...he was to tell her how I was doing at home.  At our next session she told me he was a liar and hiding secrets and something very wrong...but, without a full evaluation could not say what.  She told me to divorce him.  I didn't then...I should've ran as fast as I could the other way...but, I felt she was wrong and I look back and deep down inside I knew she was right.  He manipulated me to no end.  The lies...I don't even know if I can believe anything he has ever said.  I asked his brother so the basics are they true or a lie too.  Such as his birthday.  Clayton (his brother) said his nickname was Rip Jensen.  That was because he was always ripping people off.  I asked him why he never told me these things before...he said Pat wouldn't leave your side...I had no safe opportunity to tell you...of course, that's hogwash...he could've called. 

I thought about doing what you are doing now...my attorney actually said why...your credit will be worse than if you file bankruptcy...and never regain finanacial control.  But, this is a choice that has to be what's right for you...I'm just sharing my experience.  After this year...I will have money again and not have to be so frugile.  I'm so dumb by co-signing his stuff.  I will take care of me now. 

I have a thought....it just hit me.  I think you could contact the credit bureaus and see if he applies for credit for them to contact you first before any approval...flagging the file.  About a 1 1/2 years ago there was credit fraud and for in-store credit automatic credit, they had my file flagged to contact me.  But, if I applied for credit where you sent it in, etc., that wasn't flagged.  Just a thought... I wonder if you can do that with a spouse who is spending excessively? 

For me...I paid the bills...I never did a reconciliation on my accounts...who'd take money from my account (how naive).  It's when I got contacted and told I had an NSF check when I found out.  Which was confusing...because if by chance I did that they were supposed to take from my savings.  I guess they did that often...because when I called the bank they said there wasn't any money left in that account.  Of course, after that I had an appointment with the bank and seen what had happened.  Can you believe he tried to convince me it wasn't him that it had to be my daughters?  I didn't know what to believe anymore.  Can you believe I still didn't divorce him then?  Then goes the credit cards...I had a credit card for emergencies only...and when we lived overseas we would order clothes through a catalog and I had to charge it on my card.  After this...3 credit cards racked up with $7500 each.  Bought and sell cars like mad...I kept saying no...but I was manipulated and gave in.  A pontoon (boat), a 5th wheel, mustang, Ford F150, Jeep...in the end it was all repossessed when I filed bankruptcy.  Okay, totally enough of that.  Now this stuff makes me angry now...but it makes me more angry at myself for being so stupid to being manipulated like I was.  My family was...who's that girl...she never does stuff like that.  My sister said I remember when you could squeeze blood out of a nickel...haha...she really said it.  So, I was scammed and scammed and deep down inside I knew that was happening, but didn't have the emotional strength to stop it.  He's several states away...1100 miles distance...he has manipulated me so much...I can't say that he wouldn't be able to do it again.  Wow...this is long...sometimes you don't realize what you need to get off your chest...lol.   

Chat with you again soon 

Rhonda