Replies to 'Military Families Support'

Just wanted to write and let you know that I do know what it's like when someone close to you trys to take their life. This happened to my sister quite afew years ago now, but it makes me upset to think that my sister could have been taken away from me forever. 

The day that my sister took so many tablets, she did it more to get our attention than to kill herself. She needed help big time and this was the only way she felt that we would sit up and take notice. Well we did sit up thats forsure.  

Even though I don't know your dear friend, I feel that maybe your friend was calling out for help rather than she wanted to kill herself. It was a terrible thing that happened to her, being raped and I guess that the American Defence Force is very much like the Australian Defence Force where they are just not there so to speak for their soliders when it comes to this sort of thing. Yes, your friend might have got some help after the rape, but I bet she was more or less made to put the rape out of her mind and just get on with her job, would I be right there?! 

And so your friend had to get on with her life and go and play in Iraq!! And while she was over there things would have been going over and over in her mind and she would have being living that rape over and over again, and one day she would have finally had enough and said to herself that she wanted some help but she couldn't get anyone to listen to her, so what she felt she had to do was to make people take notice of her and she did this. 

As to what you can do for your dear friend, just let her know that you are there for her and that if she needs you, you will try your best to get to her. Yes, I know it's hard when you are so far away and if you have children well they can make things abit harder, but even if you just get on the phone and talk to her as often as you are able to and let her know that you are just a phone call away so that at anytime she needs to talk you will be there to listen. 

As to how to act, just be the loving friend that she knows you to be, don't go changing yourself when you are around her. She knows the real you, so just be you. 

As to what not to say or do, well I don't know about that one, other than to just say to you that if she wants to talk about the rape, tell her that she can talk you about it if it will help her in anyway. Just don't go judging her because of what happened to her, re the rape or the suicide attempt. 

Lastly don't go being so hard on yourself because you weren't there for her. She needed some time to herself to help herself to get better. She knows that if you could have been there for her you would have, but also know that you couldn't have known how she was really feeling if she didn't want you to know at the time. 

Just start from today being there for her, take things one day at a time. 

Please TAKE CARE, LOVE KELLY.