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Replies to '02/21 More Wifestyles'
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March 16, 2006, 10:50 am PST
 Quote From: kschmittz Hello there. It's been a while since I've posted but life for me is very busy. Anyhow, I have been "browsing" and had to comment. First, I think one of the reasons you may be getting "slack"on your position is because 8 months (give or take) doesn't really constitute a successful marriage or one that "has made it" for most people. And, the fact "it" got so bad that your husband filed not once but twice doesn't really sit well either- maybe because if that's what it took for you to "get it together" and do what you promised then that really isn't something I'd consider bragging about. Yes, it's great you are able to get beyond it but again, you are doing what you can to "save" your marriage and IMO this can cloud your perceptions. Next, accountability works in the workplace but not in a marriage. The workplace you are PAID to do a certain job and you agree to that when you accept employment. My marriage is not a job it is a privilege. There is a difference. In my vows, there was nothing about pantry organization but there was love, honor and cherish. For all of us, that means something different. The fact that Grant brought her on the show and basically showed all her bad points to America says something about his character. Why wouldn't he try lifting her up and making her look good? Last, I think your intentions are good for the most part but your word choice seems really harsh at times. My husband as great as he is can be VERY forgetful- not remembering a lot of what he "promised". I have to remind him quite a bit and I'm not always patient about it. HOWEVER, I realize he is a great guy and at the end of the day I'm lucky to have him. He wants me to be happy and does his best to make sure that happens. All in all, I think the issue for Grant and Kelly is not that she ISN'T keeping the house and minding the kids or that she's not trying- she's not doing it to Grant's expectations. There is a difference between a leader and tyrant.
Kira schmittz4@sbcglobal.net I didn't change to save my marriage. When we seperated I began to ask myself questions. The first being, are the things that my husband is pointing out realy outrageuous? If I do change these things am I doing them to be better for him or would these things make me a better person? What I realized is that the things that he would talk to me about were things that would make me a better person, even without him. Then I moved on to whether or not I wanted to stay married to him. Hypothetical question. The person I am seeing tells me he wants to have children. I agree. He proposes, we get married and then I say "you know what, I decided I just don't want to have children anymore." What position has that left him in? I tell my husband, before we get married, I want to have children. I want to take care of the children and our home. I want that responsability. Then we get married, have children and I decide it's too much work. I don't want to do it anymore. Is it my husbands fault that I am not doing what I said I would? Should he be allowed to be upset about this? Frustrated? Angry? There are choices that people make that bring other people into the situation. That allow people to count on them to follow through with their choices because that is the lifestyle that was choosen. I am not, nor have I ever said that being a stay at home mom was easy, but you don't just give up when it gets too hard. You and anyone else can say what you will about my marriage. You have every right to your opinions, but opinions are not truth. Only my husband and I know what the truth is in our relationship and if your opinion is to not give creedence or weight to the things that I have stated, again it is your choice. I just feel bad for you that you can't take someone elses story and possibly learn from it without looking at a time frame. By the way, Grant didn't club Kelly over the head, grab her by the hair and drag her on to Dr. Phil like a caveman, she walked on stage just like everyone else. |
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