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Replies to 'The Meaning of "Family"'
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March 16, 2006, 9:26 am PST
 Quote From: nicolem29 I feel like such a horrible person. I'm 29 years old, married for nine years to my amazing husband, and together we have 4 beautiful children. I got married to my husband when I was 20 years old, we were high school sweethearts. Recently, I've been occasionally thinking that I got married and started family way too early in my life. I feel like I didn't enjoy my time before kids, it seemed like as soon as we graduated high school we got engaged. We went to school and then in our second year we got married. By graduation, I was pregnant with our oldest child Brooke who is now 7. My husband was thrilled by the news. When I get these feelings I start to take my resentment out on him. I would never ever tell him about these feelings I get because I know that would just devistate him. Now don't get me wrong, I love my husband and my children more than anything in this world, but I get these feelings sometimes, but I know it's not normal. I hate myself for thinking this way. If I ever lost my family, I wouldn't be able to go on. Please give me any ideas on how to stop these feelings. I would appreciate it soooo much! Nicole I disagree with you- I think your feelings are normal! You did marry very young, you didn't get to enjoy much of your youth before having children- your feelings are valid. It sounds like what you need is some change, you need to do something fun and exciting for yourself. Do you have any hobbies or activities that you enjoy outside of the home? You need to find your passion in life! Every woman has a passion, but it takes us many years to discover it. I urge you to try something new/different in life, such as take a class or join a group/club that you are interested in. Even if you only have a minimal interest in something, such as drawing or painting, give it a try and see where it goes! Just having that time outside of the home to do something only for yourself is such a boost. Another suggestion is exercise, go out for a walk by yourself, start out small and before you know it you might be walking miles. Its wonderful to breath in the fresh air and just be by yourself with nature. (If you are that type of person, that is!) These are only a few suggestions, but the bottom line is to find your passion. Of course you love your family, but there is a whole world out there that is waiting for you to contribute your passion to. I know exactly how you feel, I have felt the very same way after my last child was born. These are such complex emotions, and it feels wrong to share them with the ones you love, I understand. Its important to listen to your instincts, though, and do something for yourself. |
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