Quote From: poetmomWhen my children tell me at 12 that they have a girlfriend/boyfirend, it doesn't bother me at all...because what they mean by that is they like that person, that person likes them, and they have admitted it to each other. They don't see each other outside of school, unless they go to our church, and they never see each other in an unsupervised atmosphere. They do NOT go out on dates, in groups or one on one, at 12...it is simply not allowed here, no matter what their friends may be allowed to do. Set rules, and stick to them--although, with him living with his father, you would have to have HIS cooperation as well.
So basically you do not allow your kids to have friends of the opposite sex right? They cannot go out in groups at the age of 12? Or is that only when they've told you they "like each other and have admitted it? Sounds to me like once they tell you about it, they won't be allowed to see this person, except at school. Whether you realize it or not, you are creating an atmosphere where your kids have to lie or withhold the truth in order to maintain friendships. When you are so rigid in your rules, you send a strong message that your kids are not to be trusted. Don't fool yourself about church. I witnessed many teens making out under pews, behind doors, etc. as a lot of parents out there think everything's wonderfully safe at church. Guess where the kids with all the insane rules go to let loose - YOUTH GROUP!!!! And this is also where the troubled kids hang too (ditto for the child molesters but that's a whole other story) Rather than coming up with "the rules" (like no dating till your 16, what a joke), know your kids and talk to them and communicate about life.... as it happens- whether its your magic "16" number or 15 or 14 or 18 years old. Let your child live and be there to support them along the way.
