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Replies to '06/23 "Stop Ruining Your Child!"'
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March 18, 2006, 6:18 pm PST
 Quote From: davewriter Hi Amy, this is David.
I'm sorry that you're having these problems with your sister. My question is, where are your parents? Nowhere in your message do you mention them. You really should get them involved. Besides asking them to look after your daughter while you work, you may also want to take the matter of your niece to them. If you still remember the incidents you mentioned, you may want to sit down with them, or spend an hour on the phone, and tell them all about it, especially the Valentine's Day one. If they are perceptive to these facts, they can probably do something about this.
Maybe this could also be an opportunity for your parents to talk to your sister, since you can't. Why does your sister want to be the fun mom all the time? Did your sister get ignored and abused more by your parents than you, and now she's determined to be different with her daughter? She needs a wake-up call quite badly. They should tell her that if she wants to be the fun mom, she can be fun by planning activities and doing them by spending quality one-on-one time, and teaching the rules in a calm, rational manner, like homeschooling, NOT BY LETTING HER DAUGHTER BE VIOLENT WITH OTHERS, INCLUDING YOUR LITTLE ONE!!! Meantime, they should also read your niece the riot act. No more backtalk or violent behavior. If the niece has a serious disability (retardation), there might be some special child-rearing techniques for her to look into.
If your sister retaliates by telling your parents off, you may have to pretend your sister doesn't exist - at least for now. She might never change, unless your niece goes to the extreme, and all the kids are put in foster homes for neglect, while she and her husband are forced to take parenting classes - which may be inevitable.
Obviously, some women just weren't meant to be mothers. Hi David,
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my situation.
My father was watching my daughter after the Valentine's Day incident, but he is now away on business for four months.
My mother doesn't want to hear about these problems. She told me, this evening, that I'm being ridiculous. Obviously, my support network does not include my family.
I've been left to fend for myself, emotionally, throughout this incident. Because of this, I have relied on the support of two close friends and my fiance. They have all told me that the situation should never have happened, and that something should be done by someone to get help for Rebecca, but we are all at a loss as to what that is.
In the meantime, I am trying to further myself from my family. At present, it's all I can do.
Thanks again, Amy |
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