Quote From: jenoc99Go to the party and teach yourself how to relax in this situation, because its not going to clear up by you dissapearing. You've got to show a united front, you and your husband together, to these relatives-- they will either come around with time. I know it is difficult to be somewhere knowing that there are people there who dislike you, but if you do happen to be near them, just smile, say "hi", and keep walking. By not doing that, you are proving them right...and thats what they want more then anything, to be right. As Dr. Phil says, sometimes the need to be right clouds people's judgement, and it sounds like that is whats happening. You admit that nasty things were said, but you were very hurt and emotional, and you felt wronged. There isn't anything you can do to take back the past, all you can do is move forward, and not give these people the power to control the way you feel, even at a family function. I wish you the best!
I forgot about the "being right" thing! So now it will make me feel better to go and know that I am not going to let them "be right". I hate to be sort of vindictive, but I just got a new, really good job yesterday, my husband (who had a major back operation last month) got a really good prognosis on his recovery (the doctor said that in a year's time he could probably go back to full-time employment), and we will be getting fairly substantial settlement money in a few months from insurance for my husband's on the job injury, so I will have some really positive things to talk about and that will probably irk my SIL that things on really, really back on the right track for us. She will probably think that we don't deserve all of the good things that are happening to us because of how bad we both were in the past. My my. I will take a nerve pill before I go, or have a couple of beers while I am there. In my younger days, I didn't used to be so chicken of situations like this. I would have been brazen, without a nerve pill or a few beers.
What would really be good would be if I had a few family functions at my house and put them in the situation that they have put me in.
I feel so coniving thinking about doing things like that.
