30 years ago, I was diagnosed with Craniopharyngioma, a brain tumor. Back in the 70's, this was a very rare tumor for children. I was 8. Today, my life has always been about achievements, and things I have "overcome." I have a hard time just living for life's sake without the fears of what still might happen. I was never supposed to pass the 10th grade. I was supposed to be in a nursing home by age 21, and dead by age 24. My entire teenage years were lived in fear. I always lived for the accomplishement. I want to just live to live, and let go of my past. A lot happened to my body due to the surgery and damage, and I will always live with that. I just do not know how to let go of 30 year old fears, nor how to move on.
13 years ago I had a ruptured aneurysm in my brain... I was supposed to die that day... Everyday I live with the fear that my next seizure will kill me... It was hard but I was able to accept my past and what I've had to live with physically. I havent been able to let it go though... I don't think you can let something like that go... I think you can only accept it. I believe waking up every morning not being able to use my left arm is what keeps me from being able to let it go.... Maybe waking up every morning like you are is what keeps you from being able to let it go? best wishes to you....
30 years ago, I was diagnosed with Craniopharyngioma, a brain tumor. Back in the 70's, this was a very rare tumor for children. I was 8. Today, my life has always been about achievements, and things I have "overcome." I have a hard time just living for life's sake without the fears of what still might happen. I was never supposed to pass the 10th grade. I was supposed to be in a nursing home by age 21, and dead by age 24. My entire teenage years were lived in fear. I always lived for the accomplishement. I want to just live to live, and let go of my past. A lot happened to my body due to the surgery and damage, and I will always live with that. I just do not know how to let go of 30 year old fears, nor how to move on.
Check out Harriet Lerner's FEAR AND OTHER UNINVITED GUESTS. It reads like a novel; however, it's really informative.
I too lived for accomplishments and started to do something different back in 2003 when I first picked up Self Matters and began to challenge my faulty thinking.
