Replies to 'Repairing Broken Relationships'

My advice to you is this, is it possible to "be who you are" without bringing religion or lack of religion into it?  

When family pressures you to have certain religious ceremony type things done with your daughter, all you need to say is this, "We know your opinion about all of that, and we respect it, however we have decided not to do that." you could go one step further, which is what my husband and I had to do, because his family wouldn't stop harping on us, and tell them that you feel its wrong to participate in these certain things because you don't attend that church, you aren't of that religion, and that would make you hippocrittes, and thats the last thing you want to be. Hopefully, this will shut them up! I know for us, my MIL did finally shut up when we put it that way. We aren't atheist, but we don't go to church, we don't subscribe to any particular religion. We live by the golden rule, and we teach our children spirituality. Thats just the way it is, its what we have chosen, and after stating our position 3 times, they finally don't discuss it any longer in front of us. Probably behind our backs.. but not in front of us, anyway! 

I find it just ridiculous that his family would pressure you to have more children because you need to take what god gives you in that department... its actually laughable if it weren't so sad! There are people in the world who keep having kids when they can't afford them and/or don't want them.. its not a gift from god if you aren't able to provide. Thats not a religion, its plain common sense. You and your husband are using your common sense, you should be proud of yourselves, and you shouldn't feel shamed by these people for not going along with their religion. I understand that you don't want to offend them, I would feel the same. and you also don't want them to misunderstand your position.. thats why its not neccessary to come out as atheist, however it is neccessary to speak how you feel in a respectful but firm manner to them. My last bit of advice is this: its best to have your husband be the one who is vocal about these decisions, since it is his family- otherwise they will see it as YOUR position and not his, and then they will still pressure him until he finally does say it himself. I wish you well!!