Quote From: purplepainMy husband and I started out poor...dirt dirt poor. So poor in fact we couldn't spend a nickle with out checking with each other, literally. We lived in a basement apartment that was spider infested and dank.
As life progressed and we both worked hard as we could, (he always earned more money then I did and I had a hard time holding a job because of a long bout of depression) and we got more money the priorities for that money seemed natural. First, our neccesities (sp) and then our debts and then our wants. Neither one of us ever counted who made what penny.
Frankly I don't understand that mentality. Who earns what. Even splitting bills down the middle makes no sense to me. That is behavior for roommates, not partners and people who love each other. My wants are his wants and his wants are my wants. I can't even say we make things "equal" because it doesn't work that way.
My husband earns an "ok" income right now, in a business that is all up, so one day he will earn a very nice income but even then...we don't each pay for our part. We each DO our part.
My husband gets a video game now and then, I get a new book now and then, he gets a computer progamming book he's been eyeing now and then I might get a season of a TV show I love.
I can't even articulate how messed up this seems to me. Not even the people on the show, but people in this thread who act like "splitting the bills" is fair. That isn't how it works.
That's why I wonder if it wouldn't do these people some good to have nothing for a while, then maybe they will understand that when you do have something, you aren't selfish about it.
I agree with you. It's a marriage for heaven sakes! You are in it together. WHO cares who makes more money, who spends what as long as you both know the boundaries of the money and communicate with each other, it will work out. There is not reason, NOT ONE, that one person should have the say so with all the money. Nobody should have that control in a relationship.
