Message Boards
Replies to '02/21 More Wifestyles'
|
March 24, 2006, 11:58 am PST
 Quote From: kschmittz When two people get married they have no idea what life can throw their way. I'm sure many a man said he would never cheat and does. I'm sure many a woman said they wanted to have kids and found out they coudn't for whatever reason. So, do you divorce? Marriage is about loving someone no matter what- richer/poorer, sickness/health, good times/bad times. Don't get me wrong- abuse is a dealbreaker in any way shape or form. But, things like trash cans and pantries are not! If a woman has the PRIVILEGE of staying home then she does take on the majority of household stuff. However, I don't think that if she's giving 100% then the hubby needs to be so critical. If the situation is not working (for either of them) then a sit down to re-negotiate would be key. That's the point I think you're missing entirely on these posts. The hubby doesn't have to be a tyrant and demand perfection. I'm sure at his job he has forgotten a thing or two but the bottom line is he's doing the best he can with what he's given. I think for Kelly/Grant she is doing what she can and Grant is totally unwilling to try and help. He made comments to the effect of he can afford a housekeeper, nanny, etc. so wouldn't that be a wise investment at this stage ? I can only speak for my husband but if my sanity /our marriage were on the line and he could aid in helping he would do it in a minute! I cannot imagine a husband who wouldn't- or a wife for that matter. That's part of marriage- wanting to help the other when they are down!!! It seems you are very concerned with "he said, she said" and that's OK if that works for you. Most of us got married to have someone to pull us from the muck when necessary- not leave because I said this or that and I'm not doing it. BTW, I am very capable of learning from other's stories when they relate to me. Your story didn't impress me as we have very different marriages. However, it did make me appreciate my hubby that much more, as does Grant/Kelly's story. Again, I'm glad you and your husband found strength through filing divorce- I just hope that for me and mine we can find strength in helping each other. You must have missed some of my posts. I have stated repeatedly that renegotiation should always be in a relationship. Saying you want children and NOT being able to HAVE them is different than choosing not to have them. Furthermore, I don't ever remember any posts saying that he could afford those things. As I have also said, how many times does a spouse say I will take care of this and then not follow through with it before someone can become frustrated, which is where I believe Grant is coming from. As we all can see with these message boards, if Grant doesn't follow through with "suggestions" from posters, than the tone of the messages becomes mean and nasty, which surprises me from people who make references about being Christians. A woman, I feel is the strongest person in the home. We have the most control over many aspects of our home and relationships, but it tends to be from a very selfish stand point. Many woman have that adage in their mind if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Put it into context of doing everything you can to nurture and please your children AND your husband and it will come back to you ten fold. Too many women make the choice of "he hurt my feelings so I am not going to do what I know what is right because he didn't say it the right way." It is ridiculous. Women hurt more of their marriages than they realize and then they sit back and act like victims. The unfortunate part is because of the emotional aspect of the woman we don't give creedence to what the man might be feeling. |
|
Return to the Message Board
