Replies to 'Abuse'

Your husband is verbally abusing you. He needs to get counseling and anger mangement. Has he been physically abusive? I will try to find the sites and you can read up on the abuse sites.

How to teach someone a lesson... 

  

First model the kind of behavior that you desire.  If you want respect, you first have to be respectful. 

  

Second set boundaries.  Here is one way to set a boundary:  When you do/say ____, I feel _____, and I need you to ____.   You need to be VERY specific about the action.  You need to be VERY honest about how you feel about it.  Then you can offer a solution. 

  

Third protect the boundary.  Often times, when dealing with someone who is verbally abusive, they will have no intention of honoring YOUR boundary.  So you also have to come up with what you are going to do when the boundary is violated.  Sort of like this:  If someone is stomping on your feet and you have said, "OUCH! STOP THAT!"  And they keep on doing it, it's time to MOVE your feet.  So ask yourself this question:  What can you do to protect your self from further verbal abuse? 

  

Also there are many good books about boundary setting that have alot of other ways to "teach someone how to treat you". 

  

How about a trip to the bookstore or library?  Q 

  

  

I have one of those at home, loves to call me all of those nice words, even tells me I am cheating on him, I am getting sick of it. I have threatened to leave, it is getting that bad, and I have 3 children all girls that hear him yell this late at night after having a few cocktails. Someone before I met him bought him and anger managment book, I want to find it and throw it at his butt. I love him to death , but it is getting nuts. He needs help for his drinking and his actions. Do you have kids? I think he is very insecure about himself. He will show up at places that I said I might go to during the day and he will show up. PHYCHo...... I have left my cell phone at home on purpose because he will bug me on it. I just get sick of it and turn the tables on him. I was always told that if someone accuses you then they are doing it themselves. And the bi , c , whore words are not called for. It is like they feel so lousy that hey I'll say that to her and see what reaction I get. He calls me it now, especially the whore word, I tell him I might as well go find someone since you think I am doing so bad. So now he thinks I am. Noone deserves this,,,, So why am I with him ? Maybe I am a bigger idiot than he is.. I swear there are some days I want to take that nice golf club that he loves so much and smack him up side the head. Good Luck, ill be checking in on you. Get out of it if you can