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Replies to '02/21 More Wifestyles'
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March 25, 2006, 11:15 am PST
 Quote From: kschmittz This is the post where Grant claims he could afford to hire help for Kelly. Unfortunately, my puter is having issues so I can't figure out how to cut/paste on these boards yet. Anyhow, just wanted to show that yes, Grant, could afford to help out- in more ways than one. Hiring help or even, God forbid, taking on some duties himself. For example, I have mentioned in other posts about him taking one/two small things he could do consistently to lighten Kelly's load. No reponse. I just don't buy your whole mentality. Yes, my husband is the leader of the home but is not a tyrant. Also, I believe each the man/woman need to be strong in the home. It's about balance, partnership and respect. You and others like you (Diana, Bree) have that respect from your husband's - Kelly doesn't and that's what this is all about. I heard a statement once that it's easy to be friends with people who are nice to you. This is kinda the same. It's easy to be good to someone who is good to you. I know, I know, you have been there. Again, I don't think anyone who is divorced, has no kids, or was close to divorce really holds any weight on this particular subject. I look more towards people who have successfully gone through 15+ years of marriage as my mentors. As a woman, I find it totally offensive that you can't seem to support Kelly. She is trying, she is willing but you know what- she deserves to be treated with respect. I don't see Grant bringing home a check as justification for his attitude towards her. Also, just as a side note, my hubby has no respect for him either. Any MAN would want whatever it takes, however it takes for his wife to be happy instead of waiting on his "high horse" for her to "get it".
Well, you have a lot there so let me try to address the things that you stated. I don't have time to look back through all of the posts,but I know that I saw one that stated that they didn't have all the extra income to start paying out on many of the "suggestions" that were given. I may have misinterrpreted that. I will have to go back. Second, one doesn't have to hire everything out. Simply asking for help from those around you would work. I don't know where you get that I don't think it is about balance, partnership and respect. I can't really respond to the respect from my husband because you won't give it any credit because of what my husband and I went through to get where we are. I agree it is easy to be good to someone who is good to you. You seem to have a perfect "marriage" so how can someone learn from someone else who has not had the same difficulties. That is what I have to offer. I have been there, done that and learned from my experiences and I can share what we both did to fix things and make our marriage work. I think women have a tendency to listen to what there husbands want, but in their effort to make it better they miss the point. For example, Kelly was upset that Grant didn't eat a meal that she had spent time on. On the flipside of that, she knew that the pantry was an issue. For me,in the place I am now, I would say, you know, I really want to make a good meal for my husband BUT I know he would appreciate it more if I did what I knew really bothered him, hence, clean out the pantry. I think it is unfortunate that you are unwilling to look at other stories and instead of judge them based on some sort of specific criteria, you might be able to learn from all stories. Shouldn't a woman, by the way, do whatever it takes to make her husband happy and understand where he is coming from. I have never been completely on Grants' side of things. I have stated that several times. I just believe that Kelly could be doing some things differently to help there marriage too. I disagree with Dr. Phil on many things from the show. |
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