Replies to '02/21 More Wifestyles'

I can only make assumptions, but I would think that, especially with Grants' personality, he probably works very hard at his job.  Again, these are only assumptions, but I think he strives for perfection in his job for personal satisfaction of doing a job well done, wants to excel in his profession and wants to make the promotions for himself and his family.  That being said, I believe those are the same goals for doing a job well for a SAHM.  I can only come from personal experience, which I know you don't give a lot of weight too, but it seems to me that when my husband is the most stressed about work and it seems as though he is being critical, is because the one place that he should be able to come home to, as a place of being able to breathe is also a place of stress.  It is hard being a stay at home mom, but it is even harder when you are at odds with your spouse over things you know and say you want to do and yet don't do.  I feel when you put yourself out there, listen (and I mean really listen) to what your spouse is saying and follow through with things, your children, home and marriage will begin to fall into place.  Your fear is a legitimate fear.  The fear of being taken advantage of and never being a enough is there, but if you allow fear to control your decisions about following through with what you know is right than your marriage will fall apart.  Both Kelly and Grant have to work on things.  They both should come to a compromise.  I have never said 100% of the time, but if you are having more bad days than good, there is something wrong with your system.  A question for Kelly would be, do you think that Grant is pointing these things out to be mean, or do you thnk he is pointing these things out because he sees you tired at the end of the day and is trying to help?  Being critical is not a good thing, but if it is coming from a place of trying to help it shouldn't neccessarily be dismissed.  They BOTH have things to work on.

Marriage is a partnership and I think we all agree on that.  My husband never asks me to do more than he knows I can do and if he does I can tell him that I can't get that done.  However, you made the statement that she seemed o.k. with the chaos that is part of life with three little ones, but Grant isn't o.k. with all the chaos.  Not that it has to be perfect, but there does need to be compromise because he does live there too.