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Replies to '03/27 More Wifestyles, Part 3'
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March 27, 2006, 7:59 am PST
 Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. First, let me commend you for your ability to multi-task. My hat is off to you.
I do, however, see some differences between you and what the show revealed about Diana. You have a full-time job that enables you to make an income and it takes you away from your children for a big chunk of the day. That means you get to enjoy adult (meaning non-toddler talk) conversation and a sense of accomplishment from your work.
I doubt your boss has ever called you "worthless" and "half a**sed", either. And Ken seems to consider Diana his employee. Ken has made it clear how much he values the role of a SAHM. According to him, "She's just a stay at home Mom."
You also weren't pregnant almost non-stop for the first five years of your marriage. It sounds like you had a break between the teenager and the toddler. Diana didn't. I can only imagine the hormone roller coaster she's been on, perhaps some post-partum depression as well.
We also don't know what Ken's standard of clean may be. You yourself said that your house isn't spotless every day. Maybe he has a cow if there's a can out of place in the cupboard. We know he has problems with how she hangs clothes on a hanger. Sounds like he's asking for perfection to me. He even called himself a perfectionist.
Let's also look at the fact that Ken is almost never home. And it sounds like he has no intention of wanting to change that either. Diana said she could care less about the Escalade or the purses. Sounds like Ken would rather hang out with the guys at the firehouse than be with his kids. He himself said that the few times he's had to care for him, they drove him nuts. So you've got a husband that's not only telling Diana she doesn't measure up, he's also showing her he'd rather be anywhere but at home with her and the kids.
You mention the babysitter factor. We don't actually know how much this babysitter is being used, do we? Would you take the kids to a babysitter if your husband was constantly telling you how lousy you were at running the house and that he was slaving away to make money for you? I don't think so. You'd try even harder at trying to show him you don't need a sitter.
With all this said, I am only trying to point out that it's so easy to look at someone's situation and say you could do it better when you haven't walked in their shoes. |
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March 27, 2006, 8:31 am PST
Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. I haven't seen the second show with these two yet, but I was there for Ken and Dianas' first taping. I agree with you. If you have babysitters and cleaning services and your friends to help how is it that you can't get things done? Being a SAHM is a tough job and too many women give up on trying to become better. They get stuck in a rut. Yes Ken does seem to be a little harsh on how he says things, but he has given her everything she wants and yet she still can't seem to get it together for him. His words are out of pure frustration! I think she acts like a spoiled brat who needs to be waited on hand and foot. |
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March 27, 2006, 11:19 am PST
Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. Hey, One thing that is very important that is missing here... This women sounds depressed. One, her hormones have been totally out of wack for years, she is trying to keep up with two kids, a house, and an over exacting husband. I know because I had one of those. Mine had been married before and told me that when his x cleaned the house it litterally sparkled. You know, dusting w/ pledge is dusting w/ pledge. But if it is in your mind that someone else (like his mother) did it better, and that it was cleaner, better, nicer something then NO MATTER what she does it will still be all about here and nothing about him. And after a while, why would you care about anything anymore. Something wouldn't be perfect. And not all people have the same standards. I'd tell his redneck shaved genghis kahn self that the child support and alimony would take care of her just fine and that he wouldn't have to worry about them cherios on the floor any more! Some Moms at home are more tuned into the kids than having a really clean house. I hope that when I die it will say on my gravestone, _ She was a loving wife and a great mother. Coz if it says, she kept a really clean house. Well, I did it all wrong. So next time you set yourself up on that pedestal, look down, could be quite a drop! |
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March 27, 2006, 12:53 pm PST
Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. I think you misunderstood what they were saying about the babysitter. They don't have a babysitter coming to the home everyday when she's cleaning. It is an optional service that is there if she needs to run errands or just needs a break. Cherrios are not that big of a deal. Do you follow your toddler through the entire house to pick up every cherrio they drop? I don't imagine you have the time if your as busy as you are. That child could have dropped them right before Ken got home we don't know. I give you credit for doing as much as you do as well. But Diana is being neglected by Ken. What time he spends with her is limited to him telling her how she doesn't add up to his standards. Also it is a bit different for her. She doesn't have a tennager to help out. And as you said your house isn't spotless every day. But you can't actually say that it would be if you were in her shoes. |
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March 27, 2006, 5:47 pm PST
Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. I am a stay at home mom and totally floored that you would say that we moms dont do enough work the difference b/w you and stay at home moms is that you get paid to go to work and drive to and from for an hour. I have been both a stay at home mom and in the corporate world and my job at home is much more difficult than the corporate one. I too was pregnant for 3 years so I have 3 kids under the age of 5 so I am sure you can imagine that I start my day b/w 6-7 am sometimes earlier when the baby who is 6 months old decides he is getting up before that. The one thing I can tell you I do not sit on the couch eating bon bons all day long and I probably clean up the kitchen alone 3 times a day if not more. I run errans from groceries to paying bills and throw in taking kids to school picking them up and giving naps and oh dont forget the laundry. And just when you think the house is clean someone spills something on the carpet. So no my house is not always clean but its always picked up and there are ALOT of things that I want to get done but just run out of time. The other thing that gets me is that you are telling SAH moms that they are not managing their time or houses/families. I am assuming that you have your kids in daycare 40 plus hours a week and then your teenager is watching your toddler while you do the EMT, the committee work and train all the other EMT's I for one would like to know how many hours you spend taking your toddler to the park or to any playground and who cleans your house the person you pay to do it? These are all assumptions but I know when my husband and I decided that I would stay home I thought oh good I will have so much time to just veg out..all I can say is I WISH that were the case. So I guess one could say that you are missing out on the best years of your kids life with all the stuff you do but you see the great thing is most stay at home moms want to be there b/c they dont have to work or want too and YOU WANT TOO! I get to be there and teach my son to walk and talk daycare won't be doing it I will and that is the greatest reward I can ask for. I AM EXHAUSTED AND TIRED and just b/c I am at home doesn't mean I don't work. Oh and did I mention right now I am doing it all without my husband b/c he's deployed add that to the list of things to deal and contend with! |
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March 28, 2006, 7:08 am PST
Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. I agree completely... As a "neat" person, I know it would drive me absolutely batty to walk in at the end of a hard day and see the same Cheerios on the floor (hello; she was letting the kids PLAY with dry cereal - in the living room; did anyone catch that?) and piles of laundry all over the washer and dryer (it wasn't visible in the photos Dr. Phil ranted about, but WAS visible in the intro clip). It would ruin my day. This woman is obviously, well, let's just say she doesn't have the highest standards of neatness and cleanliness in the world; I'm not talking white-glove clean; I'm talking about picking up junk off the floor so you can move around. She freely ADMITTED that she was basically a slob when he met and married her, so this is who she is. She needs someone to TELL her she's lazy? I don't think so!!! But being perpetually pregnant is a socially acceptable excuse (I guess). Ken's only mistake was marrying someone he should've known he was incompatible with in the first place (he essentially said he just kind of "fell into" the marriage, and I think THAT'S what prompted her tears). She'd give up the Cadillac??? I'd like to see it happen... All Ken is asking for is an equal partnership; he does his job (two actually), keeping house is hers. |
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March 28, 2006, 11:25 pm PST
Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. I'm sorry too that there are moms out there that feel the way you do about SAH moms. I worked full time at a rewarding career that I enjoyed, have two daughters and a hands on father/husband (whom also has a great career & works full time). We live about 45 minutes one way from work . I am active in my community and in PTA. We attend church on a regular basis and church activities. We shuttle to dance class two days a week. I am an advocate in breast cancer awarness and am currently training for an out of town marathon in support of the cause. (to raise money for this cause I have been known to bake and sale rumcakes on average 10 cakes two days a week of baking). Our girls get a hot home-made meal, packed school luches, and a clean home-even when working full time. So you are not the only mom out here making it all happen. I am a truly modern mom avid in womens lib and demand changing "the boys club" rules.
A year ago I made a huge life change. I quit my career to be a SAH mom, with my husbands full support. Our oldest was starting first grade and youngest will be starting kg this August.
It is not about Diana cleaning house it is about the lack of confidence she has because of the way Ken treats her. Women are tough and made for the long haul, but you agree that a womens self esteem can be brought down by her husband? Then she will begin thinking about her self-worth.
What an unnecessary comment that if you had every day off your house would be spotless. My house was cleaner when I worked full time then now. Not because I don't clean. It is because SAH moms have less stress and having a few cheerios on the floor isn't such a big deal as it was when we were working full time and trying to keep a perfect house.
Also in Dianas defense we don't know the schedules of her young children. It is hard to manage time to do everything when you have small children. I notice you have not dealt with stairstep ages of your own, you had a break in between. It makes it harder when you are trying to potty-train one and breast-feed another. They have different needs but are still to young to understand a lot. We also don't know how often she uses the baby-sitter.
Although you don't mention a husband, I am sure he is in the picture. There is a similarity between working and SAH moms. I do what I do well, you do what you do well all with a loving supportive husband. Diana doesn't have that. Think about it that way.
And being an overwhelmed SAH mom is not because you don't manage your time, house, or family...like in Dianas case it is because she is trying to manage what someone else dictates what should be done. I am like many other SAH moms and not too overwhelmed because I manage my own time, house, and family with my own schedule, and supported by my husband.
I do paint Diana as a victim, maybe if Ken would back off some she'd be more willing to do housework the way he likes it done.
p.s reading your post made me more upset then watching the show! |
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March 29, 2006, 2:23 pm PST
Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. I agree, it is priorities. I am a grandma now so I have "been there" and I think that Diana could do a better job, if she were more organized. |
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April 1, 2006, 9:10 pm PST
Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. A stay at home mom has every day off? I think I am getting jipped. In some people's eyes, I, as a stay at home mom might have every day off but my house is NEVER spotless. My highest priority is my family and the majority of my day is spent with them. Usually a working mom bringing home a paycheck is out of the house 8-10 hours and their children are in some form of childcare or in school so as far as the household chores, there wouldn't be as much to do compared to a stay at home mom, for chances are, the paid working mom comes home to a fairly clean house, dishes done...............Whatever, This stay at home mom does not have a day off nor do I care to. I have a great husband who believes in me and loves the fact that his children's mommy is home with them, teaching, guiding and entertaining them, providing their needs, and I do get breaks as myhubby is great in the department as well, but I have no days off. Parenting is 24/7 and the stay at home mom is on call 24/7. Even on vacation this past summer, guess who was with the kids the WHOLE TIME. day off? no such thing for a stay at home mom. I don't think either one of these two are victims, I think they both play a part in this, but coming from a mommy who was pregnant and potty training one at the same time, yep, it can be overwhelming, the difference is, I had supportfrom a loving husband who was more then willing to pitch in, even to this day, he does his own laundry LOL, why? because he doesn't like the way I do it, so to Ken, I say, if your wife isn't hanging your shirts up the way you want them done, then do it your self, cheerios on the floor? bend down and pick em up! What's the big deal? Again, I am not saying she is all innocent here, but she does have three little ones to care for and they need to be her top priority over the home. |
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April 3, 2006, 9:56 am PDT
Quote From: tkimball I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families. Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter?? And she can't pick up the Cheerios?
I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on. I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in. AND I'm pregnant with child #3! And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean. No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be.
I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families. I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing. He hired a cleaning company? I'll take it! Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. And perhaps letting it color your opinion about the show? You are doing a lot - is the father of your children around to help? Sounds like he's a couch potato, happy to see his wife running around like a chicken with it's head cut off - working, commuting, cleaning, cooking, coaching, volunteering, gestating, etc. Stay at home moms DON'T have every day off. They are WORKING at home where the constant mess is. They don't get vacation or sick days. If they could ship their kids off somewhere for the day and stay home, then that would be a day off. (P.S. Diana posted that the babysitter was so she could work on her husband's business, not so she could have a day off.)
And I could say to you, why are you having more children if you can't afford it without working? Why are you having more children if you are passing them off to someone else to raise while you work? But, of course, that is your decision and I'm sure it was well thought out.
While raising my children, I watched with envy while my sister-in-law worked at a high profile job and employed a nanny/housekeeper to raise her children. She spaced her children 4 years apart so that it was convenient for her career. She had nice clothes, a nice vehicle, adult companionship, a large salary, fancy lunches, world travel, kudos for her achievements, etc., and could leave her job each day and come home to a clean house, dinner on the table, and children expressing how much they missed her. But as the years went by, I realized that wasn't for me. Her children absorbed and adopted every aspect of their nanny's ethnicity from language to behaviour to food (not a bad thing but not great for a homogeneous family unit); her children began to cry more when the nanny left than when she did; her children, given the choice, sought comfort from the nanny instead of their mother; her children's milestones (first word, first walk, etc.) were experienced on videotape. Now that they are teenagers, her children have "issues" and are very distant from her AND ALSO each other (because they were born so conveniently far apart maybe?). Now I don't feel envious any more about choosing my children over a career, money and prestige. |
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